17 and Flammable.

When I put my fingers to these keys this morning, I have no idea what's about to come out.

Last night, I was working here at the Security desk as usual, when someone came up here and cleaned their hands with their hand sanitizer key chain. First off, I thought it funny that she had a hand sanitizer key chain in the first place, but when I caught a whiff of the alcohol that was wafting from her fingertips, all I could smell was Vodka. It actually smelled a lot like Vomitorium brand Vodka. (just seeing if you're paying attention). But no, seriously, the scent of Vodka on a Friday night made me feel 17 or 18 again. It's amazing how one drinking experience can leave such a lasting memory on you, especially, a bad memory.

You always meet someone who says something like, "I can't eat or drink anything that smells like peaches, because I drank too much schnapps when I was 16 and puked all over my mom's mini-van. If I smell peaches, I want to hurl." ...Or something along those lines. Everyone knows that if you drink too much, it can cause you to spew. No one likes to barf, but it happens. So you try to avoid puking at all costs. If something reminds you that what this does is cause you to puke, even if it's something as harmless as peach-scented air freshener, it triggers something in you brain of a time long ago, in a different time of your life when that scent, that action, caused an adverse reaction, one in which you would like to avoid. Thankfully, I have not such experience, except for the 151 incident at Crawford's back in 2001...but that didn't leave a lasting memory on me. I mean, not in a puking way. It did, however, make me not like to drink liquor, whether it's in shots or mixed drinks. It gives me the chills and makes me want to...hurl. So I guess it's not so much the scent that does it to me, but more the burning sensation in my throat.

The main thing this woman unintentionally did was conjure up a memory of my first time ever drinking. It was, as you could have guessed, Vodka. Not just any Vodka, by the way, but 5 O'Clock Vodka.

In my research of 5 o'clock vodka, was looking for a website or something to site something about the company. I guess they don't have one, because why would anyone want to go to it. The shit is terrible. What I did find is a product called the Vodkastick, which filters out impurities in cheap vodka, I guess. Serious sidtrack there...

No, seriously, the first time I drank it was in a friends basement, drinking 5 o'clock out of a little plastic cup, like the kind you might find as a rinse cup for their kids after they brush their teeth. He just poured me a cup full, and I just sipped on it. Then, once I had drank about half of it, I added some coke to it, to make it about half coke, half cheap vodka. Can you understand why I don't like Vodka, to this day?

I will admit I have drank some more quality vodkas since then, and have enjoyed it, but it still gives me the chills a bit. That night could have gone very badly, very quickly for me. I did not understand the power of hard liquor at the age of 17. I watched as a friend had a "shot contest" with another partier, and was promptly carried out of the house, with everyone in quite the panic, because of, first of all, the underage-ness of her, and all of us. Secondly, her dad was a cop. Third, she drank way too much and we were worried about her life, a little bit. That part was probably blown out of proportion, because we were kids drinking, and we were not that cool, so we figured the worst would probably happen. It didn't, and all ended up being OK, but I think that situation could have gotten a lot of people in a lot of trouble. So that's how one drinking experience can have a lasting memory. If she hadn't drank too much and passed out and had all those problems, I probably would have been her, because I didn't know what I was doing, and I wouldn't have known when to stop. I learned a valuable lesson on how to know when you've had too much to drink, and it stayed with me these past 10 years. Now when I smell hand sanitizer, it makes me think of responsibility. Also, it makes me think of trying to play a guitar while shit-faced, and smacking it off stuff, while other sober folks try to coax me to put the instrument down, for the instrument's sake...

I'll never forget that night.

A Yooper in Nashville

Yesterday, I wrote a little reminder to all y'all that I'm not dead. I had to do it remarkably fast because I was at work. Now, I'm home, and I'm taking a break from cleaning the apartment to type some words.

First off, I wanted to point out an interesting finding I came across. I put a reader poll up about the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and more importantly, who my readers think would win the Cup. It was posted and closed before the first round even ended, and like usual lately, I only received one vote. The vote, as you can see, if for the Montreal Canadiens. At the closing time of the poll, that prediction seemed a bit far-fetched. (*note, I actually don't know if that poll closed before the Habs upset the Caps in the first round, but I think this is the case. Also, I'm pretty sure whoever voted there voted before that epic win, so it's most likely true) Turns out that prediction has a real good chance of coming true. So I'm going to leave that up there, so all readers can see how awesome that one voter was.

I had this amazing feeling of cool city hipster this morning, as I drove down I-440. I was sipping on a Grande coffee from Starbucks, smoking a Camel, listening to the Big Dave and Company Podcast, heading to Whole Foods. As I looked to the skyline to my left, feeling haggard considering the hour of my journey to the grocery store, I felt like I was a part of the city, not just a resident, but someone that you would look at and say, "he looks like a city boy" or something like that. I never felt like I fit into the country, small-town atmosphere. No idea why that is because that's where I come from, but I guess I've seen enough images of "city folk" in my day that I felt that's where I want to be. I like living in a city. All things I want are a short drive away. There's just stuff going on, and I like activity.

Next week, on the 21st, that will be my one year anniversary here in Nashville. My prospective of the difference between the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and Nashville, TN, is really becoming less easy to point out. Not that I totally forgot what it was like to live in the UP, but I feel more a part of this city now than before, and I like it here so much. I really do. And that makes easier to forget the UP. I have to learn to forget it, because it's still painful sometimes not being there. I've completely come to terms with what my life is right now, and I really like what has happened. I used to wonder everyday, "what am I doing in Tennessee?" now I say to myself everyday "I love my life."

I'm a proud Tennessean, and a proud Nashvillain. Villain!

So What, Who Cares?

Holy fuck, where have I been?

So much has happened since we last spoke. Nashville went under water, then dried out, but the damage was done. I have about 247 blog ideas, but found other things to do instead. Finally got addicted to an iPhone app, and it has nothing to do with Twitter.

I have a pretty wicked tooth ache right about now, and this is not good. Last time I was in this situation, it was honestly the worst pain I ever felt. Well, it hasn't progressed that far, but I'm scared it will.

I'm going to Hotlanta this weekend. I am going to see an Atlanta Braves game at Turner Field. This has been a dream of mine since I was a little boy. Hard to believe that it's happening in 3 days from now.

On the same day of the ballgame, I'm going to see Angels & Airwaves with special guest Say Anything. This should be an amazing weekend.

The flood should really be talked about by me more here, but maybe in a few days I will do that. Maybe not. I got stuck at an alternate job site during the flood situation, which sucked. That contributed to my bloglessness. Also, the computer at work was down last weekend, so I couldn't write anything. Plus, I am eternally lazy.

So I think that's it. I was just letting you know that I'm back. I swear it this time, I'm really going to try harder. I can do better.

I can be the greatest blogger in the world.

Got Married

You know, its been over a year now, and it feels like a generation ago, but there are still some decisions I made in and around my wedding last January that I can't help but regret. I know that I was under intense pressure to do things correctly, and make sure all were happy, but there are certainly some decisions I made that I would like to go back and change. I know that no one would care, and they were understanding of the decisions I had to make, but some of the other mistakes I made were pretty dumb.

First off, I STILL worry that it looked like I was slighting a good friend, and one of my best friends in the whole world that day, by asking him to be my pianist, and not standing next to me with my brother and new bride. I hope I made it clear enough, on that day and leading up to the day and after the day, that having him in that position was in no way a slight to him. I wanted to include as many of my closest friends as I could in Tuxedos. This was the logical decision then, because he is the best pianist I know. There was no stupid order or ranking of my friends with whom were dressed up nicely. All were equal! At least that's how I viewed it in my mind. I certainly hope no one would feel like they were slighted. I feel like I slighted them though, in a way, just because I wish they all could have been my best men. They are the best men I know, though. So, I don't know I hope they understand. I say they because I'm including the ushers, too.

Second thing I regret is only inviting two of the security supervisors to the shindig. Why did I only choose two? Why didn't I just invite all of them, knowing some of them would have to work anyway? What the hell is wrong with me? And to make me feel even more stupid for my stupid decision, neither of the ones I actually invited showed up, and one that invited as a "come later and drink with us" guest, actually showed up. What a mistake. Why didn't I just invite him outright? What was the purpose of only inviting him later? To make me feel bad for leaving out people I like?

I don't know, these things have just bothered me for quite some time now. Carry on.

I Wanna Look Like That Guy

As of this moment, I'm pretty positive I will not be moving to Tumblr. I have no interest in it, now that a certain 15 year old is not around to convince me that I should do such a thing. Also, I would like to continue spelling that word with the extra E they decided to leave out. No, I'm having a hard enough time being a good Blogger to move to another site. Not that moving to another site would make things harder or easier to update, but you know what I mean. Oh, you don't know what I mean? Me either.

So I'm trying to be a good blogger now. I'm doing my best.

So the summer is creeping ever closer, and with the summer comes swimming weather. It also brings with it severe thunderstorms, and hot steering wheels. Also, sweltering band practices. Which one do you want to hear about?

Imma go with swimming weather.

I decided to go for a run in the fitness center last week because of this reason, mainly. Also, my other band mates are all running and working out to look good, and become superstars. So I decided to do my part and go for a run on the treadmill as well. I have always had a little bit of extra bits on me, some would call it "more to love." I call it unsightly, but that's my opinion, man. I don't care what others look like, and society has told me that I should look like "exhibit A" in this ad, or whatever. Cool, I'll buy it. I should look like these people, because image is important to me. I do want to look good, but I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm pretty lazy. The only way to look like those people is to go work out. Keyword for me in that phrase is work. Man, running is hard. My legs were pretty sore on Wednesday, the day after the workout. By the way, this is what I was doing instead of blogging. I was running. Which is healthy, and blogging equals sitting on the ol' ass. I should figure out a way to run, and blog! I wonder if there's a audio transcriber or something that I can talk into while running, that will write what I say, and post it!

Doubtful.

Sometimes, through all my attempted deepness, and my wanna be Art-ness, I am pretty superficial. I know this. I also have a bit of an ego. I feel like it takes someone with an ego to have a twitter like mine. You must have a feeling of deep self-importance to be able to put the stuff you're doing and thinking about out there for whoever feels like reading it, and assume people care. I like confidence, I respect it. The point being that maybe I use web-confidence as a mask for my unhappiness of my weight, which really isn't that bad of a problem. I'm 6 feet tall, and weigh 223 on the home scale in the morning, and 233 on the scale in the gym here at work, later in the day, with all my clothes on, so it's somewhere in there. It's enough of a problem for me to feel that I need to do something about it. There are people that look much chubbier than I and don't really way that much more than me, so I don't get it. Maybe it's my massive muscles?

So I want to get into swimming shape, so I look good at the pool. I also want to look good on stage and in photo shoots, and paparazzi pics. (I'm amazed right now that I spelled Paparazzi correctly on the first try.) I want to look like that guy. But it's a lot of work, and I don't know if I'm up for it. We shall see.

Goodbye, Goodbuys

Friday morning I got some terrible news. Not terrible on the level of, like, someone is ill, or something really tragic is going to happen. No, more like a chunk of my ability to discover new and wonderful music is being taken away.

I got an email telling me that the music service Lala.com is being shut down as of May 31st. If you'll notice the convenient music player I have in the upper left hand corner of you're screen, which makes listening to music while reading possible on my lovely blog, that's from Lala. I was advised to check out the site this past November, and I was pretty impressed with the site. If you're not familiar with the service, basically, you can stream any song in the world (at least the ones they have the rights to) one time, no matter what. If you want to stream it again, you pay 10 cents to be able to stream it unlimitedly. You can listen to your library from any computer, but you can't take it with you on a CD or MP3 player, but that's okay if you listen to music on your computer anyway. I often times just use a computer to play songs, so the service was a very cost-effective way for me to hear new and notable music for free, or for a very low price. If i haven't mentioned it before, which I believe I have, I do not steal music as of early 2008. This site gave me a easy way to hear/preview music before deciding if I wanted to purchase it in another form in the future. I'd buy the web album for like, a dollar, stream the hell out of it, and if I like it, I'll buy it for real on iTunes or buy the CD from a store. Examples of music I bought on Lala and then bought again in another format in the near future are The Swellers, Thrice, and fun.. There is a lot of great music out there and it is also expensive to collect. I will miss Lala very much when it is gone. In the mean time, I'm going to use the hell out of the site so that when it's gone, I will have a better idea of what I will procure in another format, weather it's on iTunes, or CD from my local record shop.

When I heard that Apple had bought the service a while back, I was wondering if they would shut it down, or let it be. I was hoping they would just let it be and reap the rewards, albeit much smaller rewards. iTunes makes bank on 99 cent and dollar twenty-nine tracks. I'm no math whiz, but I believe ten cent tracks, is less money coming in. This doesn't surprise me that they're shutting it down, but nonetheless it's disappointing. They are at least being kind enough to give me iTunes store credit for my purchases on Lala, which from what my mathematical brain tells me is about $15, so now I will just have to figure out which music I have in my Lala collection I want to own from iTunes. It'll still be a fraction of the music I was able to buy on Lala, but it's better than nothing. The thing that really sucks about this is that I can't change my song on my blog now, because that option has been disabled...so you're stuck with Circa Survive for a while. Good song, though!

Total bummer, this is.

Predictions in Film/the All-Timers

Saturday mornings. Love it. I love working by myself. I really don't like people all that much. Well, I hate people but I love gatherings.

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." -Silent Bob

I was thinking about Clerks randomly this morning. I really like that movie. It got me thinking about where it would rank in my list of all-time favorite movies. As I was thinking about it, I realized that I don't watch a whole hell of a lot of movies, and I sure as hell don't go out buying DVDs, like some people do. I own a very small number of movies, because I'm just not that interested in watching a movie more than once or twice. That being said, it would take an especially good movie for me to not only own it, but be able to watch it at any given time, on any given day, during any given circumstance. When I think about my all-time favorite movies, a few immediately pop into my head. Fight Club, Back to the Future (all of them) and Clerks. Fight Club, I always loved that movie, but the book is honestly better. Chuck Palahniuk is easily my favorite author, and it was because of this movie that this is the case. I watched the movie back in 2000, and have basically been a big fan of it ever since. I owned it on VHS, but never bought it on DVD. That's a great movie, but probably not my favorite of all-time.

So it comes down to Clerks or the Back to the Future trilogy. While I know many lines from Clerks, and can say them along with watching the movie, I pretty much know every line from the Back to the Future trilogy by heart. I could honestly watch the movies in my head, without missing any parts, if I wanted to. It's pretty easy to pick Clerks as your favorite movie. It's an indie film, so that gives you cred. It's smart, funny, and a cult classic. It's a movie I can watch with friends and they will all enjoy it. This can also be said about another classic that I would throw into the conversation if I knew it stood a chance of winning the argument, which is The Big Lebowski. Another cult classic, and another easy, respectable choice for all-time favorite. I have some great memories of watching that movie, especially with TJ. But I know that won't win as my all-time favorite.

No, the winner of my all-time favorite movie(s) is the Back to the Future trilogy. It's the obvious choice. I could watch the movies anytime. They're funny, they're exciting, they have everything. Time travel has always been a fun concept to me, and these movies do it great. The only problem I have, when looking at the movies now a days is, when you think about it, the entire part 2 needn't have happened. Travel to the future to prevent an incident from happening that HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET? You know how to prevent that? Keep the incident in you mind for the next 30 years, and when the day is coming up, just tell young Marty Jr. not to go to the Cafe 80's. Tell him that Griff is a bad dude and you don't need to be hangin' around that sort of riff-raff. Even Doc Brown admits that the future hasn't been written yet and your future is whatever you make of it, "so make it a good one" at the end of the third movie. So They didn't need to go to the future, but for good cinema, they wanted to show you what the future will look like.

Also, in Back to the Future part 2, the future scenes take place in the year 2015. That's only 5 years away and it's looking like they're not even close on their prediction of flying cars. Speaking of movies that predict the future, there's another movie that may have been way closer to getting it right, though it's too far off to tell at this point. The movie is Demolition Man, with Stalone and Snipes. For a very interesting look at the predictions made by the movie, please check out this website. I recommend it highly! Highlights from the list "As of 2003, the parole system as you know it was made obsolete." They also mention the "Schwarzenegger Presidential Library," which in my opinion is a pretty good prediction in 1993. I don't think anyone would have predicted at the time that he would eventually go on to become Governor of the state of California. So that's pretty neat.

Movies are great. Sometimes. Usually I'm just too ADD to sit down for 2 hours with a movie. But when I do, I'm usually happy I did.