A Guide to Clever Marketing Tools

So the city Nashville has this saying to promote the local hockey team, the Nashville Predators. The saying usually incorporates the clever term "Smashville" somewhere in there. Like, "Welcome to Smashville" Go see a friggin' hockey game. Well, as I walked around work yesterday, bored as usual, the phrases came into my head for some reason, and it got me thinking about other ways you could use our cities name to promote other things that could happen here.

If there was a rash of serial killings around town, we'll call it Slashville.

If there was a convention for beauty contest winners, we'd call it Sashville.

If there was a influx of Hungarian immigrants settling in town, we could call it Goulashville.

If there was a Marijuana convention, we'd call it Hashville.

If there was a photography convention, we'd call it Flashville.

If we attacked Charlotte, N.C., and they retaliated, this would be Backlashville.

If we suddenly had a lot of car accidents, we'd be called Crashville.

If we were flooded (why didn't I think of this before?!?!) we'd be Splashville.

If there was some kind of skin irritant outbreak around town, we'd be Rashville.

If everyone in town got a bit hasty with their temper, we'd be Brashville.

If we had a track meet, we'd be Dashville.

If we were a very redundant city, we'd be Rehashville.

If we had a make-up convention, we'd be Eyelashville.

You get the idea, right? What a versatile name for a city! You don't see Memphis using their name creatively to promote the Grizzlies, do you? What would that do? I guess if it was run by Democrats, it could be called Demphis. But that's dumb. That's really dumb.

So if anyone out there wants to put on a beauty gathering, a drug convention, or show off some new makeups, this is you're town! If anyone wants to start killing everyone or irritating peoples skin, or get angry or repeat yourself or start fights with similar sized southern towns while expecting a retaliation, THIS IS WHERE TO GO! We're here for you.

We're open for business.

Thing Happen, But Not To You Guys.

Things happen to people who don't live in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I always had that feeling when I was living back home that nothing would ever happen to me, weather good or bad. There would be nothing that would happen to me or to anyone else that would stir any sort of national attention. I'm not even talking about making the national news or anything like that, but just in general.

If you lived in the UP, you couldn't get on a game show. You couldn't make a hit record. You were not going to have anything happen. You don't get historic floods that are featured on Nightly News with Brian Williams. Those sort of things only happen to people from other parts of the country. Though I did find it funny that when Nashville went half way under water, someone tried to blow up Times Square and there was thousands of gallons of oil leaking from a mile deep on the bottom the Gulf of Mexico. I noticed that the news was always happening somewhere else when I lived in the UP, and it was still true when I lived in Nashville. It goes to show that no matter where you are, there is important news happening, but not being covered.

What got me thinking about how nothing happens to anyone in the UP, I was listening to The Kings of Leon. the Kings of Leon are from Mt. Juliet, TN. You know who else is lives there? My regular weekday coworker, Mary. While she is nearly 60 years old and doesn't know who the Kings of Leon are, I was still surprised to find out she had no idea who they were, considering how popular they have gotten on a national level and they were from the same town she lives in. If the Kings of Leon were from Ishpeming, I promise you every 59 year old would know who they were.

I was watching Who Wants to Be A Millionaire a couple months ago. You know, the syndicated one on daytime television, with Meredith Viera. They were having some sort of competition among the winners, where if you won the most money, you would come back for a tournament or something like that. Well anyway, the leader is from Antioch, TN, which is just a few miles from me right now.

These examples are small, and rather insignificant, I suppose, and I'm sure there are much better examples I could come up with. I won't state the obvious about all the major country stars that are from here because that's not a surprise. That's what this town and area are known for. And I could also counter myself by pointing out that there was a Negaunee High School graduate that was on Jeopardy like, a year or two ago. And Kevin Tapani was a Major League Pitcher, and he was from the UP. Escanaba, to be specific. The guy who made Starbucks was an NMU grad, but that doesn't count, I don't think.

The point being that I always had a feeling living in the UP that nothing would ever happen up there. Marquette doesn't get flooded. Marquette doesn't have a The Kings of Leon-equivalent to call the area home. Hell, friends of members of my band are friends with Paramore. I'm pretty sure some of them went to the same high school. It's just weird that that happens here, but not there. I always wondered about things, like flu pandemics and stuff, and I was like "No that won't happen here, stuff never happens here." Nothing except snow storms, but that's not that unusual. Things can happen here. No one wins the lottery from the UP. They win in places like Nashville, or Antioch, or Mt. Juliet.

I think I'm finally realizing how little amount of people actually live in the UP. Things happen to people here because there are more people here. It's just a numbers game. I always thought of the Marquette area as being rather populous, and that's totally not true. I didn't know that until I moved to a populated area.

So I'm feeling like something will likely happen to me, more likely good than bad because I'm an eternal optimist. Because things happen to people here. I'm going to start playing the lottery more often, just in case.

Water

From the information I have gathered, the average American uses about 152 gallons of water per day. That number is absolutely astounding to me. It's one of those things that you do directly everyday that you don't even think about. Think of how many times you flush the toilet, taking a shower everyday, making some tea, running the dishwasher, the clothes washer...washing your car. It all adds up. Now think of how many people there are in the USA...That's a whole lot of water.

I didn't think about how much water I went through each day until the Nashville flood of a couple weeks ago. When one of our water treatment plants was flooded, we only had half of our cities reserves to use. That meant they wanted all residents to cut their water usage in half. The dishes piled up, the laundry piled up, and the showers got less lengthy. I did my part, and so did everyone else, so I've heard, because the conservation worked. The water reserve went back up to normal levels, and there was no need to worry. I hope the people of Nashville learned a valuable lesson from the avoided water crisis. We don't need to waste so much water. Water is not really renewable, but, I don't know the science of it, but I know they can treat it. I don't know what that means or if that is really a permanent solution, I honestly never thought about it, especially when I used to live next to the largest fresh water lake in the world. There was plenty of clean water around. Here, we got a river...and I know it's much worse in places like Arizona, which is a fucking desert, by the way. How can all those millions of people live in an area nowhere near a large water source? I don't get it. So many questions, I have, about water. I do know that I am working on shortening my showers from now on, if for no other reason than to reduce our water bill, because if I learned one thing from the Nashville flood, is that I can do better an conserving.

A Yooper in Nashville

Yesterday, I wrote a little reminder to all y'all that I'm not dead. I had to do it remarkably fast because I was at work. Now, I'm home, and I'm taking a break from cleaning the apartment to type some words.

First off, I wanted to point out an interesting finding I came across. I put a reader poll up about the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and more importantly, who my readers think would win the Cup. It was posted and closed before the first round even ended, and like usual lately, I only received one vote. The vote, as you can see, if for the Montreal Canadiens. At the closing time of the poll, that prediction seemed a bit far-fetched. (*note, I actually don't know if that poll closed before the Habs upset the Caps in the first round, but I think this is the case. Also, I'm pretty sure whoever voted there voted before that epic win, so it's most likely true) Turns out that prediction has a real good chance of coming true. So I'm going to leave that up there, so all readers can see how awesome that one voter was.

I had this amazing feeling of cool city hipster this morning, as I drove down I-440. I was sipping on a Grande coffee from Starbucks, smoking a Camel, listening to the Big Dave and Company Podcast, heading to Whole Foods. As I looked to the skyline to my left, feeling haggard considering the hour of my journey to the grocery store, I felt like I was a part of the city, not just a resident, but someone that you would look at and say, "he looks like a city boy" or something like that. I never felt like I fit into the country, small-town atmosphere. No idea why that is because that's where I come from, but I guess I've seen enough images of "city folk" in my day that I felt that's where I want to be. I like living in a city. All things I want are a short drive away. There's just stuff going on, and I like activity.

Next week, on the 21st, that will be my one year anniversary here in Nashville. My prospective of the difference between the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and Nashville, TN, is really becoming less easy to point out. Not that I totally forgot what it was like to live in the UP, but I feel more a part of this city now than before, and I like it here so much. I really do. And that makes easier to forget the UP. I have to learn to forget it, because it's still painful sometimes not being there. I've completely come to terms with what my life is right now, and I really like what has happened. I used to wonder everyday, "what am I doing in Tennessee?" now I say to myself everyday "I love my life."

I'm a proud Tennessean, and a proud Nashvillain. Villain!

Avoiding Overload

**********Heads up! This blog was written on Saturday, April 24th, and I'm going to talk about the events that are going to occur later today, but I didn't want to double-post on Saturday because the previous blog was really long!!! So I am going to write my Saturday morning blog now, and have it posted on Sunday Morning, even though when you read this, it will have already happened.********

Today is a cool day, sorta. Cool because things are happening around Smashville today. This morning is the Country Music Marathon, which until yesterday, I thought was called the Music City Marathon, which sounds better to me, but no, this is the Country Music Marathon. Well, the thing goes all over downtown, which is my current, and usual location here in Nashville. I am at work, as you may know, and the route of the Marathon goes right behind and next to my work building. Additionally, they have blocked off major roads around town, causing traffic to suck, apparently, for all Saturday morning commuters. I was looking at the TDOT cameras they have around on the interstates and it shows cars backed up all over the place. It didn't affect me at all because I live 3 minutes from where I work. Win!

Anyway, some of my fellow Officers here at my place of work have volunteered to work the alternate entrance of the building today, because they expected the regular employee entrance to be unusable. Not sure this is the case, but nonetheless, it's still awesome because no one is bothering me over here this morning. They also hinted that I would be expected to help out with their duties at the other entrance. Sorry motherfucks, you volunteered to be here on your day off, not me. So I'm gonna just stay right here, blogging, and listening to music.

So that's all, I guess. That's what's going on in Nashville on a Saturday. Thanks for reading what happened yesterday...

Family Friendly Fun

An exciting day in Nashville as the family has arrived! Now, this is not my blood family, but still family, nonetheless. They took the daunting drive from the great northern Upper Peninsula of Michigan to arrive here in Nashville just a few hours ago. Only took nearly 15 hours. This is why I can't go home that often, people. That drive is insane.

So Nate and Sam (mostly Nate) are on the couch playing Little Big Planet, Lydia is using Bethany's computer while Bethany watches is all. I'm on my puter at the dining room table.

The weather has turned from nice to beautiful, the grass is turning greener, the trees are blooming, and the sun is shining.

Yes, life in Nashville is pretty good right now. I always love having visitors. This week should be a lot of fun, in that family-fun kind of way. In that this-is-where-we-live kind of way.

I'm gonna think of fun topics to write about tomorrow. Stay tuned in the next bunch of days!