A Guide to Clever Marketing Tools

So the city Nashville has this saying to promote the local hockey team, the Nashville Predators. The saying usually incorporates the clever term "Smashville" somewhere in there. Like, "Welcome to Smashville" Go see a friggin' hockey game. Well, as I walked around work yesterday, bored as usual, the phrases came into my head for some reason, and it got me thinking about other ways you could use our cities name to promote other things that could happen here.

If there was a rash of serial killings around town, we'll call it Slashville.

If there was a convention for beauty contest winners, we'd call it Sashville.

If there was a influx of Hungarian immigrants settling in town, we could call it Goulashville.

If there was a Marijuana convention, we'd call it Hashville.

If there was a photography convention, we'd call it Flashville.

If we attacked Charlotte, N.C., and they retaliated, this would be Backlashville.

If we suddenly had a lot of car accidents, we'd be called Crashville.

If we were flooded (why didn't I think of this before?!?!) we'd be Splashville.

If there was some kind of skin irritant outbreak around town, we'd be Rashville.

If everyone in town got a bit hasty with their temper, we'd be Brashville.

If we had a track meet, we'd be Dashville.

If we were a very redundant city, we'd be Rehashville.

If we had a make-up convention, we'd be Eyelashville.

You get the idea, right? What a versatile name for a city! You don't see Memphis using their name creatively to promote the Grizzlies, do you? What would that do? I guess if it was run by Democrats, it could be called Demphis. But that's dumb. That's really dumb.

So if anyone out there wants to put on a beauty gathering, a drug convention, or show off some new makeups, this is you're town! If anyone wants to start killing everyone or irritating peoples skin, or get angry or repeat yourself or start fights with similar sized southern towns while expecting a retaliation, THIS IS WHERE TO GO! We're here for you.

We're open for business.