Let's Face It

So I am currently in reading mode and not writing mode, so hang in there on this one.

I've recently rediscovered that there are funny people on the internet, much funnier than I. The style in which they are able to write is what I strive for, but it never turns out that way, I suppose. One of my favorite sites is Cracked. They are able to point out really interesting and funny/ridiculous things, and present them in a list. Let me just say, I love lists, so that's a good start. Anytime theres a list involved, I'm instantly THERE. I'm in. You got my attention. Love a good countdown. The top 6 ways to do this, or the 5 worst that, or the 12 most outrageous so-and-so's. The things they talk about are funny because usually they are true, and that makes them even funnier. They are also good at writing about it in a way that is humorous, which I guess is the point.

I also have been reading the Huffington Post a lot lately for some reason. I added a Huffington Post thingy to my iGoogle page, so every time I fire up that to check my email, I'm bombarded with a bunch of interesting things, like insight and intrigue. Their comedy section is hit or miss, but occasionally I have found things on there that made me laugh. So if you need something to laugh at, check out these sites. Do not, however, read this blog. Here, you will only have you're intelligence insulted.

What inspired me to write today was something I read in a Huffington Post article, which actually came from TMZ, where rock "icon" Brett Michaels has caused speculation that he will be replacing Simon on American Idol. I have a love/hate relationship with American Idol. I love it because I love good singers, but I hate it because it's fucking Karaoke. So I'll just say that I like American Idol. It's alright. But when it was announced that Simon would be leaving the show, I was pretty sure that would be the end. Especially because he is bringing his own talent competition from England, one which is very similar to Idol, and America's Got Talent, called the X Factor, to America. He's not only bringing his show to the States, it's going to be on the SAME NETWORK as Idol. One of the shows will most likely die, if not both. If this last season of Idol has proved nothing else, it's that we have officially scraped the bottom of the talent pool clean, as if we're just trying to get those last remnants of you're ice cream in the bottom of the bowl. You can get some on the spoon, but it's pretty unsatisfying. Too many talent shows on TV. Truth. But I guess in a gesture of the fact that there is no talent left in America, what better person to judge the talentless than their king, Mr. Michaels.

I watched bits and pieces of this past season of the Celebrity Apprentice, on which Brett Michaels was a contestant. In fact, he won the whole thing, mainly because of a sympathy vote at the end because of all his health problems. Okay, fine. In that setting, Brett Michaels was actually a likable human. I also recall watching him on his reality show, Rock of Love. On one episode, they showed him on stage with his guitar, singing some new song to a crowd of people, and I can't remember how it went, but I remember felling empty and dumber after hearing it. First off, he never played an instrument in Poison, let's make sure that's clear to all readers. (There's a chance he actually played Every Rose Has It's Thorn on guitar, but...so could every sixth grader who would have bothered to learn that song.) He was the singer and the pretty face. C.C. DeVille was the only person in the band with talent, and even that's debatable. But he was ugly, and he was just a guitar player. The success of Poison can be directly attributed to Brett, because of the swooning masses. So good lookin' (???)

So if this happens, if Brett Michaels becomes the new judge on Idol, I have a pretty good idea which show will be cancelled and it won't be the X Factor. I know that Brett has a lot of fans and followers and it would bring fans of his to the audience of the show. But I just don't see how you can put him on a show to judge other talent with a straight face. I'm all for him having a career, singing or dancing or whatever he does. I can't slight a guy for making a living. But to put him in this spot, in my opinion, is laughable. I have grown to like him as a person, mostly because of the Celebrity Apprentice, but I'm not of a fan of his music, as you may have guessed. If I met him, I would shake his hand, tell him I liked him on the Apprentice, and that I wish him well. But he's just not that talented.

Let's face it