Live Blog: Veggie Corn Dogs with Dipping Sauces

I'm fixin' to eat these

So here I am, way overtired, and I am about to eat my "lunch."  What I have for lunch today is two Trader Joe's brand Meatless Corn Dogs.  I have always loved Corn Dogs.  And I will always love corn dogs.  That's a rewrite on I Will Always Love You, by the way.  So to make my corn dogs interesting, I have found four different dipping sauces in a bowl in the back here at work.  McDonald's Sweet and Sour sauce, Arby's Sauce, Wendy's Heartland Ranch, and Hunt's Ketchup.  The ketchup part is pretty normal, but the others are just crazy!  So here's my thoughts on each sauce as I eat them on a corn dog.

First, Sweet and Sour sauce.  Really sucks.  It's like, a total clash of flavor.

Next, it's Ranch. That's actually not that bad, but still pretty weird.  It takes a second for me to realize what I'm putting in my mouth.  Not that great. But Ranch is pretty good on anything, so I would say it's acceptable. Just weird.

Next, Arby sauce.  Meh, not too bad.  The initial taste was awful, but subsequent bites get better and better.  I don't normally like Arby sauce anyway, so I had low expectations going into it.  I would choose the Ranch over this.  Not the Sweet and Sour though.

There's something wrong with this microwaved corn dog. It's all hard and dried out.  I went back to the Ranch to finnish it out because I don't need to know what corn dogs and ketchup taste like.  I always eat my corn dogs with ketchup.  After it's all said and done, the ranch is pretty damn good on there.  And now I'm just eating Ranch Dressing off the stick of the corn dog. I can hear myself getting fatter.  This has gone all down hill yet exactly the way I thought it would.

Okay, now I'm still hungry.  Let me eat these mixed nuts.  I wonder what a cashew would taste like dipped in ranch?