Wrong Address

We have this on-going situation here at my wonderful apartment in Nashville. For those of you that are aren't familiar with the National Football League or what teams play where, we have a team here in Nashville called the Tennessee Titans. On that team are real people, who have real residencies and mailing addresses and livelihoods. Sometimes, pro athletes have a hard time knowing how to change their address, apparently because we keep getting mail and deliveries for a certain NFL player named Jacob Ford. Mr. Ford is a defensive linemen and wears number 78 on the Titans. He plays occasionally, and I've watched him play on TV while sitting on my couch in his old apartment. Pretty neat, if you ask me.

I know he used to live here because the mailman told me so on the day we were moving in. He said, "You know, one of the Titans used to live there." I was all like, "Really? Cool." A day or two later, I decided to check the mailbox to see if we had gotten any mail at the new apartment yet. There was not, but instead of any or our mail, it was stuffed up with a bunch of mail for one Jacob Ford. That's when I had to Google him, and that's when I learned who he was. Slowly, but surely, his mail began to stop coming, but every once in a while, we get his mail. We got his NFL retirement package paperwork once. We got a Christmas card, sent from the family of the Defensive Coordinator, Chuck Cecil. We got his Eastbay catalog. Things of that nature.

This had stopped almost entirely until today, when I got a package from FedEx, addressed to Mr. Ford. Now what? You can't just write "wrong address" on the envelope and stick it back in the mailbox. No, there is no mailbox for FedEx. So I called FedEx and they're coming to pick it up. It's just another reminder that someone who made it to the NFL used to sit right where I'm currently sitting, but I got his FedEx'd shit. At one time I wanted to keep a pile of his mail, and when he did a public appearance, I was gonna show up and ask him to autograph it. But I chickened out. Plus I think that's sort of illegal, but I don't know. Would have been pretty funny though.

so anyway, next time you're watching a Titans game and you see #78 out there, Jacob Ford, know that at the same time, I am writing "wrong address" on an envelope somewhere.