*** I read this over once before posting it and it's really jumpy and hard to read, so I apologize for that in advance.***
Two years ago today I wrote a post on this site about homesickness. How odd it is that I return to that subject two years to the day? It's like I've applied a layer of dirt to my brain. The dirt is me covering up the life I used to have back home. I've tried so hard to bury it underneath my new life here in Nashville. Every once in a while I dig into the dirt and find the little spot that used to be my life back home, and I sort of forget everything I've done to cover it up. I litterally forget where in the world I am sitting for a little while. I have to snap back into reality and realize that I'm in Nashville, not the U.P. All it takes is to read a news article, or a few facebook posts. It's really bad when I go to Google street view and look at all the images from home that you can access. I lived there for what, 26 years? It's home. I didn't really leave the area for more than a week, ever before I moved. It's the weirdest feeling to snap back to reality once I try to. I realize where I am, and it was like I was in some sort of trance. I cover those memories back up with the mental dirt, and carry on with what's real, the present. I dealt with crushing homesickness for a while after we first moved here, but it got better and better. When I went home for a few days in February, that helped a lot, seeing everyone and everything again. But every once in a while, I dig that dirt up, and realize how much I miss the comfort of home. Even if I went back, it's not the same for me anymore. I miss being ages 0-26 in Negaunee, not 28-death in Negaunee. You can't ever go back to that time, but you try to, and recreate things like how it used to be.
I try to remind myself that the past is the past. Don't dwell on the past and try to enjoy the present, because someday, I'm going to want to go back to this very moment as well. All you can do is try to have the best time possible in the current, and hope you remember these days with fond memories. The best ways to do that is to just cherish the moments as they come. As I grow old, I realize that life moves pretty quickly. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it.
Sorry to get all downer, but that's what's on my mind. Back to writing about stupider shit tomorrow!
Two years ago today I wrote a post on this site about homesickness. How odd it is that I return to that subject two years to the day? It's like I've applied a layer of dirt to my brain. The dirt is me covering up the life I used to have back home. I've tried so hard to bury it underneath my new life here in Nashville. Every once in a while I dig into the dirt and find the little spot that used to be my life back home, and I sort of forget everything I've done to cover it up. I litterally forget where in the world I am sitting for a little while. I have to snap back into reality and realize that I'm in Nashville, not the U.P. All it takes is to read a news article, or a few facebook posts. It's really bad when I go to Google street view and look at all the images from home that you can access. I lived there for what, 26 years? It's home. I didn't really leave the area for more than a week, ever before I moved. It's the weirdest feeling to snap back to reality once I try to. I realize where I am, and it was like I was in some sort of trance. I cover those memories back up with the mental dirt, and carry on with what's real, the present. I dealt with crushing homesickness for a while after we first moved here, but it got better and better. When I went home for a few days in February, that helped a lot, seeing everyone and everything again. But every once in a while, I dig that dirt up, and realize how much I miss the comfort of home. Even if I went back, it's not the same for me anymore. I miss being ages 0-26 in Negaunee, not 28-death in Negaunee. You can't ever go back to that time, but you try to, and recreate things like how it used to be.
I try to remind myself that the past is the past. Don't dwell on the past and try to enjoy the present, because someday, I'm going to want to go back to this very moment as well. All you can do is try to have the best time possible in the current, and hope you remember these days with fond memories. The best ways to do that is to just cherish the moments as they come. As I grow old, I realize that life moves pretty quickly. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it.
Sorry to get all downer, but that's what's on my mind. Back to writing about stupider shit tomorrow!
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