the Nail and the Clipper

I have a real problem with fingernails, especially when they are too long or too short. My fingernails used to get really long when I was younger, because I hated the feeling of when they were freshly cut and were all sharp and rigid. I also hate when they are long, but I figured I'd rather have them too long than too short. Now, I'm the opposite. I'd rather have them trimmed, but sometimes I forget. Today, I forgot to trim them. Well, not just today, they've needed to be cut for a few days now, but I don't think of it until I'm no where near my nail clippers. Now there's nothing I can do about it for a while.

I like to cut my nails after a shower, because they're soft. I think this helps cut down (pun intended) on the sharpness you get when you cut them when they're dry. Not sure, but it seems to work for me.

You know what else sucks? When you cut the nail too short, and it's kinda painful. Anyway...

Another weird thing I have about nails and fingers in general, is I hate touching paper. Is that weird? Like, I knew a guy I used to work with that hated cotton balls. Hated even thinking about cotton balls. Others, like my lovely wife, don't like the feeling, or even the sight, of a fork on teeth. That one doesn't bother me as much, but me and paper, we're like that. I fucking hate touching paper. Even with the side of my hand, like when I'm writing something on paper. I hate it. Or when someone is trying to get two pieces of paper unstuck, UGH. I have to turn my head and close my eyes. It just gives me the creeps. I'm pretty sure my hatred of paper stems from my general dislike of fingernails, because the intensity of the dislike comes and goes. I can deal with paper sometimes, and sometimes I cannot. Nails on paper is like nails on a chalkboard. If a restaurant has paper place mats, ugh, I don't even want to sit there. And that little paper napkin ring that I have to peel off to get to my paper napkin, UGH! Knock it off with all the paper, society.

I know there are people out there that can chew their nails off, and that bothers me too. Getting moisture under the fingernail? UGH! Gross. And then it's all sharp. UGH! No, for me, I'll use the clippers. Plus, my teeth don't line up in the front so I can't bite them anyway.

Fingernails. I fucking hate em'.