Remember a few weeks ago when I said I was going to college. Yeah, I haven't even thought about it since that day. I guess now would be a good time to tell everyone that I'm not going to do that. Well, I guess I shouldn't say that I'm definitely not going to go to college, as I think I really am ready to take classes, but once I thought about how much bullshit I will have to go through to get into a higher learning institution, I just sort of gave up on the idea. Right now, it's not my priority, just the same as it's been for the past 10 years. I just don't want to go to school. Simple as that.
I'm dancing around the words a bit in that above sentence because I always want to keep the option open, even if it's only a mental thing, which gets you nowhere. Right now I'm focused on the immediate future, which is a very real and unavoidable family life. Bettering myself will come soon enough, I'm sure. Right now, I need to focus on what I can do with the resources I have. That probably means working shit jobs for low pay. I obviously don't care all that much because when I weigh the options, I'll stick with the status quo, which has been the status quo for me for my entire adult life. The only times I make a change is when I'm forced to, and no one is forcing me to go to college. Therefore, I'll just continue to bitch and complain about things without actively trying to change the situation, because I'm an American, and that's what we do.
I won't lie to you or me about this anymore until it's actually changing.
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