Don't wanna blow it all, but...

So I got paid today. This usually means I go all crazy with my money, buying things and stuff. Well I told myself this morning that I think I would really appreciate it eventually if I didn't spend like, half of my money in one day, and save some for later, so when it builds up, I am totally loaded. Well then I start to hatch ways to blow all my money. For instance, today I got all existential and started thinking about how we, as humans, are not the center of the universe and that other life forms probably exist, but we are on this tiny little earth. I feel that the complexity of our being has got to be extremely fragile, and that everything is connected one way or another. The universe is bigger than our minds can even begin to fathom. So the fact that I got paid today seems pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, as well as things like how well my coffee tastes and how hot it's going to get today. It's all just the tiniest blip on the radar in the "space-time continuum" or whatever.

So that got me thinking about this book that was brought to my attention last year called "Pale Blue Dot" which basically talks about exactly what I was thinking this morning. Then I started thinking about the other books I have been meaning to buy. So I went to Amazon and checked them out. Overall, the price for 3 books was only $32 even after shipping, but then I was thinking about how I didn't want to spend a shit-ton of money right away...But I'm all excited about these books and I want them. So instead of ordering them online, I think I'll take a shower and head to the bookstore and buy them, to save on the shipping. Plus, once I get there, I doubt I'll buy all three, sighting the cost, and stuff. I just remember getting paid last week and going to the record store and blowing $40, and how I realized later that that was a good chunk of money. Even though I don't regret the purchases, I still wish I had that money. This is also a factor in why I don't want to buy a bunch of books because I would like to be able to justify buying a CD or two in the near future. I don't know what I would buy though, therefore I have settled, I will take this shower, head to Books-a-Million, (the closes book store I know of) and buy one, two or all three of these books.

I also begin to think about how I already haven't read all of the latest AP, and I read the newspaper every morning, when the hell am I going to find time to read three books? This quandary doesn't bother me that much, cuz I know I'll find time. Plus, I miss books.

Yes, I am off to the store now. Be safe, be lawful, and I'll talk to you later.

-The guy who wrote this

a quickie??

So somehow, it's already 12:35, so I must go quick. I ate a lot of Vegetables this morning which always makes me feel better about myself. How can a vegetarian eat so little actual vegetables? I need to make a concise effort to include more fresh veggies into my diet. I just remembered making a comment to myself this morning while making breakfast that "This would be totally vegan if I didn't add the cheese. Yeah, I say this while pouring the veggies over EGGS! Oh well, I would like to go totally vegan and organic, but it's seriously impossible when your wife can't really eat soy and you enjoy cheese and eggs so damn much. I always say, if I were vegan, what would I eat? Wouldn't that be a good thing considering I'm fat? Maybe I would eat less?

I also told Bethany I would fix the TV today. I should really hurry up to do that because I need to get ready for work at some point. I can not bathe today, which is prolly gonna be really gross by 10 p.m. tonight. I'll wash my hair in the sink, which seriously cuts down my work preparation time, so I am worrying less about that now. I'll bring a box of food to work, cuz I'm to lazy to make Mac n' Cheese. I don't know, maybe I'll suck it up and cook that. I should eat something before I go to work anyway.

The thought of going to a Tennessee Titans game has finally entered my brain in a serious way. But the thought of buying a new TV makes me much more excited. I priced them out on Walmart and Target's websites, but I realized that I really don't care about how awesome the TV is. It's better than what were currently rolling with. I went to Best Buy the other day, and as I talked to the salesman, I realized that there is a lot more to think about when buying a new TV, and quite frankly, I don't want to think about those thoughts. I really don't care. If it's an LCD TV, 32 inches or bigger, that's all I care about. I will feel like a dumb ass when I walk into the place and tell them that I don't even have a satellite or even cable. Does this seem like buying overkill? Usually people that go out and drop hundreds of dollars on a new TV have channels they intend to view on said TV. Now the fact that I don't currently have cable or satellite does not indicate that I will never have these things. I want to spend $400 so I don't have to get up and "fix" the TV every 5 seconds while watching a movie or playing a video game. Plus my TV is an old ass CRT from 1999. I got it the same Christmas as my Dreamcast for Christ sake...lol no pun intended.

So I will now go fuck with the TV. Until next time, ta ta

(is that my new sign off? gawd i hope not)

The Hangover

So apprently I drank way more than I origanally thought on Sunday night. I spent all day yesterday with a killer hangover, which I figured would go away by the afternoon. I wrote yesterdays blog with a headache and feeling a bit ill. Well, the damn headache never went away, even into the night. I woke up today with a headache still. Maybe it's a tumor? Maybe it's an anyerisim? Maybe I shouldnt drink so much whiskey? I'll go with the 3rd option. I think I'm just massivly dehydrated. But drinking a bunch of water just seems so unappealing. I never have to take 4 doses of asprin in a day and a half span. I never get headaches. So needless to say, I'm being a bit of a baby about the whole thing. Alright, alright, I'm going to get the bottle of water to chug...

Fingers crossed.

So today, I head back to work for a 2-10 shift. I actually don't care at all that I have to go back. I know i'll be working with Derrick, which is a good/bad situation. I like the guy, but I deffinetly do not want to get too close to him simply because I don't think he is someone I should totally trust. I know me, and eventually I'll be the nice guy and offer him something that he will ultimately take advantage of. He seems to be the type of guy that latches onto others that will help him in the general advancment of himself. He's definetly not the smartest man I've ever met. He seems well intentioned, most of the time, but he also seems to not care really who gets screwed over for his own benefit. i.e. me.

**chug**

I was thinking the other day that my addiction to buying music has perhaps hit a bit of a wall. I've basically procured everything I had an interest in up to this point. That's when I'm sitting here, writing a blog, and I remember walking into Grimeys and hearing the most mind-bending awsome music I've heard in quite some time. Apparently, the band was called Lightning Bolt, and I've had intentions to look up this band and find out what they are all about. The music was really technical and awesome. I want to know more about them, so after I hit "post" I'm heading out onto the interwebz to figure out where they came from, what era, how many members, how many albums, what other bands are associated, etc.

I expect the maintenance guy to come to the apartment at some point today, which is always an interesting position. I am always leary of letting anyone into my house, especially if I dont know them. It's such an uncomfortalbe feeling to have an unknown visitor in you house. You just kind of feel vulnerable. It feels like you dont know what to do in your own home. So he's got to fix a few things around here, and that's cool and all, but I'd really rather no one came here, personally.

Here's some random thoughts...

• Is "I gotta feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas a good song? I can't tell, but my instincts say yes.

• It was nice to talk to Brian Chapman and Jesse Smith the last couple days.

• I want to upload the pics from Titans camp, but I havent even looked at them, and I doubt they're worth it

• I did not shower yesterday, even though I went in the pool and that's gross

• I have used one tank of gas in 11 days. Unheard of!

• I was home all day yesterday, and never turned on Animal Crossing. Rare!

• These are all tweet worthy, btw. I guess these are rejected tweets...

• Wish I had internet in the house, so I could surf from the comfort of my couch/dining room table

• I get paid on Friday, and I'm trying really hard not to "prespend" the whole thing this time.

Ok well that is all from Nashville...Untill next time, tata.

I don't know what I want.

I titled the blog before I wrote it, because I wasn't sure what was going to come out. I don't know what I want to write about. Today is a Monday, which is usually a day people tend to hate. Not me, at least, not anymore. I have no reason to hate Mondays. I am off on Mondays, so therefore I kinda love Mondays. I guess if anything, I would hate Tuesdays, simply because of work. But i really don't have any reason to hate any day I work because my job is such a cake walk anyway. Just show up, try not to get too bored. It is the ideal gig for me. Like I told Brian on the phone last night, it's exactly what I used to do as a tech, but when I do nothing for an entire 8 hour shift, that's OK. In fact, that's what I'm supposed to do! All I have to do is hope that nothing out of the ordinary happens while there. Thus far, it has been smooth. I really, really hope it stays that way.

So I try to read the Tennessean every morning. This morning I actually accomplished more of that task than usual actually, probably due to the fact that Monday's paper usually is much thinner and less daunting than other days. But today seemed exceptionally thin on news stories. I read the stories on the main page, which continued to the back pages, and when those were finished, i realized that there were no short middle stories withing the other pages. They were all just continuations of front page stories. My favorite part of the paper has become the Opinion section. Don't know why I never fell in love with the opinion section in the Mining Journal, but I just think there are so many people down here that i have conflicting views with that it just makes them funny as hell to read. I realized this morning that I can place any letter to the editor into three different categories. There is the nice person who wants to thank someone for recognizing something they believe in. There's the pissed off republican who actually seems relatively well informed and well intentioned, but comes across as a crazy southerner who won't let his beliefs and way of life be compromised by people he believes are after him, just making him out to be a paranoid sore loser. And then theres the condescending asshole. This term is copywritten by Bethany Perala actually, so props to her for that. The condescending asshole is the guy who is basically saying "well done, asshole." This individual usually is on the borderline of being the pissed off republican, but he's just more fed up with stuff and knows theres no way he can get what he wants if he is a pissed off republican, because he knows how that really looks, as I indicated above. He also seems more in disbelief of what he sees going on around him, as if he was also surprised when his son or daughter all of a sudden grows up and gets a job, moves out, starts a family, and wonders what the hell happened. I wish I could provide examples, but it's not that i tried to find examples and had a hurdle in providing them, it's just that I'm too lazy to seek them out. I don't know if they're available on their website or whatever, but if so, seek them out and read some. I don't get excited about shit for nothing.

I drank Makers Mark last night, as well as some PBR Light. The only person i could have been a drunk asshole to was my wife and I don't know if i came across as that way, but it certainly feels that way this morning. I hate myself when I'm drunk because I don't know how to control myself. This is a problem dating back to the first time I ever even drank. Hate it hate it hate it. Wish I could change it, but don't know how. I got an idea, FUCK IT.

**takes break to check phone for Twitter updates.** **Circa Survive signed to Atlantic**

How come everyone seems to know who Circa Survive is. I have no fucking clue who they are. One thing i do know, is that that italic part was a total accident. I just thought of a great band name!!! Itallica. That's fucking great. This part at the end got useless didn't it?

until tomorrow or something, piece out!!!

JP brought it back, so I will too.

So Jason Pettigrew brought back his blog from the death bed, and even though I doubt ANYONE will read this, I am doing the same. I always struggle with the idea of promoting my own blog adventures. What if I put shit in here that I don't really want people to read? Perhaps, I shouldn't do that? But then there's always the shameless feeling of shameless self-promotion? Don't know, man. But i had been thinking lately how it would be nice to chronicle the homesickness, so I will know exactly how i felt on a day to day (or week to week) basis. You know, document my ups and downs. So I am considering a serious blog revival. It's not like I don't have time for it. I usually just fuck around all morning, not doing anything productive. Reading the paper and drinking a lot of coffee is a problem I have been dealing with. I do this routine every morning, and I think i should change it up once in a while. So consider the Blog a change-up to my morning paper/coffee fastball.

Alright, about that homesickness thing...Yeah it's been rough. Ive been told by friends that have moved away from the U.P. that it never really goes away. Tom Featherstone told me that it gets better, but never goes totally away. This was also the sentiment of Tammy Runstrom. That truly sucks to hear, because if it never goes totally away, what will I become in the future? I have been toeing the line of a complete wreck in the last couple weeks. I pick up my guitar, even though i don't really claim to know how to play it. Not to say I suck, but lets just say I only know like, 7 chords. Whatever, what I'm saying here is that I really want to express my "pain" through song, but I don't know how to write a vocal melody. I just follow the melody of the tune, which apparently is pretty amature. Every time I pick up the guitar, I end up feeling worse off, because i don't know what I'm doing.

But yeah, I miss everyone I know. And that hurts, knowing i wont be able to see anyone I love besides my wife for a long time. I am so excited for when Caleb and Megan come down here eventually. They are the only people that are even talking about coming.

Tim called me the other night which was a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately, after i got off the phone with him, I ended up feeling even worse. He told me that after the departure of Andy from the band, which marked three fifths of Dead Cities now departed from Dead Cities, they were still truckin' on, finding a new name, but still playing Tim's songs from Dead Cities. This bothered me a little because I was really hoping to get the Dead Cities album finished so I could have a record of the greatest time of our lives. But if Tim and TJ are taking their songs to the new endeavor, those are no longer Dead Cities songs. Therefore, we only have Andy's songs as Dead Cites material. FUCK, MAN. So I see it as, "piss on the past, we're moving on." I know I shouldn't feel that way, because i really want those guys to keep on playing music. I can't, nor want to stop them. It's just frustrating that I wont be a part of something that I realistically should be a part of. This is the hardest issue i have to deal with in moving 1000 miles south. My band. I miss my band more than I could have imagined upon departure.

No one told me that the homesickness would get wayyyy worse before it gets a little better. Nashville is a cool ass town, but it's not even close to the Greater Negaunee-Marquette area.

4-20 day, dude like WOAH!!!

So today was yet another day of sleeping in and waking up with not enough time to really enjoy my time at home without the wife. I hope that doesnt sound too terrible, but it's sometimes nice to have a break from people, and i mean all people, even the ones I love. I spent most of my time growing up entertaining myself. I spent a lot of time just being alone, in my room. So I was prety used to that. Well now that im married, and my wife is unemployed, i really dont bet time away from people anymore. So she's in Nashville, trying to get a job. I spend my days sleeping, which is not that cool, to be honest.

Now to follow up on what i wrote yesterday. I went directly to Target after work and bought the new Silversun Pickups record. Totally a good decision. That album is really, really good and i recomend it to anyone with a taste for good music. Now, what should I do about this Manchester Orchestra record??? I think I'll wait till Bethany gets back and buy it digitally, so i can put it on the iPod. This is because of two reasons. One, I doubt they'll have it at Target. Two, if i buy it with my laptop, Itll be harder for me to put onto the iPod eventually, because i rarely use that thing. And, also, I wont be able to listen to it in the car anyway untill Bethany gets back so whats the point of buying it now when i cant even really listen to it? Done.

Well, it snowed today. April 20th, and it snowed a wet heavy bullshit on our heads. Driving to work was an adventure to say the least. I felt like I was driving in sand. I was really hoping the car in front of me on 41 wouldnt stop because i felt if I came to a stop, I would be stuck on the highway. I was 3 minutes late for work but that was because of the weather basically. I doubt ill get nailed fot it. Though Seymour is a total dickhead, so ya never know!!!

One positive about Bethany being gone for these 4 days is I get to watch whatever I want on TV. This means nothing but SPORTS!!! I am also a big fan of the times when the scheduled Baseball game on ESPN gets rained out and they do the "live lookins" around the league. So I'm sitting on my couch watching the Pirates and the Marlins. A game I would otherwise NEVER see! Also they were showing the Astros and Reds. The same thing goes for that game, never would it be on TV. I really enjoy seeing teams other than the fucking Redsox and Tigers and Angels. I guess I'm basically sick to death of the American League. American League is zzzzzzzz.

Also, the Bulls were on TV tonight. Playoff Basketball is pretty good stuff actually. Regular season shit is just a bunch of overpaid player jogging and shooting easy buckets with little to no defense. That's why i perfer the Collage game over NBA most of the time. The only problem I have with collage basketball is I have no aligence to any of the teams. I have no aligence to any collage team in any sport as a matter of fact. I do root for the Irish in Football but not very hard. What a fucking tangent this has turned into eh? THE POINT: Bulls lost and i actualy got to listen to the 4th quarter in the car on the way to work. I listened to Basketball OVER this amazing new Silversun album.

I burned a copy of Swoon to run into Subway and give to Tim for an early birthday present, but he was'nt working, so I just pocketed it. I'm glad i did cuz i uploaded it to the work computer and now I can listen to it over and over!!! I might give the copy to someone else if I feel they might dig it. I can always burn a new copy for Tim later. In fact id be suprised if he doesnt go buy it himself. He was the one that gave me a copy of their first album anyway. I just figured, get one to him, if he dont need it, ill give it to someone else. No matter what, someone is getting a copy of Swoon!!!!!!

Thank you,
Brad

Musica

So, I sit here, blogging at work. I wish i could get paid to do this, lol. Technically I guess, I am.

OK, so I've had my mind set on buying the new Manchester Orchestra record that comes out tomorrow. Ive had my mind set on this for weeks now. Well, I also knew that the new Silversun Pickups record was coming out soon as well. From what I had read, I wasn't too sure if I was gonna bother with it immediately. I was gonna focus on getting that Man-O album. Well I realized today that it came out last Tuesday. Silversun record that is. So decided to go and check out a few of the tracks.

This is where it gets interesting. The Silversun album is fucking awesome. Now what do I do? I feel I must own this record! But the Manchester Orchestra comes out Tomorrow!

Two options are presented at this time. I go to Target in the morning and see if they have the Silversun record. What if they do? Do I buy it? Chances are high that i would, since I'm already there. But I've been raving to anyone in earshot for the last two weeks about this Manchester Orchestra album. If I buy the silversun album tomorrow, can I justify also purchasing the Man-O record too? Or does one have to wait? Additionally, what if Target doesn't have either album, or just one or the other? I was planning on buying the Manchester Orchestra album digitally anyway, but the more I think about it, the more i want it/both in physical form. I would probably get hung by my wife for buying 2 albums when we're pretty broke. But g'damnit I love music and I am very stoked about both of these records. So whats it gonna be?

I may have to go off of which one I am more confident i will be totally in love with. Which album will I be totally obsessed with for the next month or so? Which record will be the soundtrack of my spring?

Hopefully both.

-Brad