Tribute to the greatest blog ever written

So for those of you who don't know, I am sort of a newb sometimes when it comes to the intarweb. This morning, I wrote the greatest blog ever written. It had a roller coaster of emotions. It had perspective. I learned how to make Hyperlinks and was trying to insert them helpfully into this heartfelt blog about how I miss my band and I wish I wasn't in Nashville, but it was worded as if not to say that I wish I wasn't here, but more of that I wish I didn't have to move so I could still rock out with my band, because I miss it, and I kinda want to see the band die, out of jealousy...and when I went to post it, there was some HTML error and so I hit "backspace" and the whole thing disappeared...so fucking pissed. But trust me, if you had gotten to read this blog, you woulda probably shit your self with joy/sadness/boredom/amazement. I honestly spent hours crafting that blog, learning how to properly include this bull shit and that when you clicked on it they actually worked...I spilt my emotions out...and the Internet wiped them away because it doesn't like a messy house. I promise if you guys read that blog, you would have weeped. Now, you'll never know. COULDN'T REMEMBER THE GREATEST BLOG IN THE WORLD...THIS IS JUST A TRIBUTE.

So Christmas is nearly here and this is going to be a weird one for me. For the majority of my life, I had gone to some predetermined location to meet with family(s) on Christmas, and Christmas eve. After my grandma died in 2005, no one seemed to want to continue doing that, so there are uncles and aunts and cousins that I have not seen since Christmas 2004. The only reason this is not too big of a problem is that I really have a hard time remembering their names anyway, let alone "what child is this?" Uncles, Aunts, those are not so much a problem, but when we get into the extended family, it gets fuzzy. My mother is one of 7 children, and I know all of her siblings. My dad only had one sister, who had one child, so that side easy to remember. But my moms side is all over the place. I was number 21 of 22 grandchildren, which makes it even harder to know who my cousins are, because the oldest one is something like 25 years older than me. I know her, though, that's Brenda. But after that, I have no idea. I had my mom break it down for me a couple times and I forgot already. So with that being said, I miss my family, but not my extended family, because I don't know who/what I'm missing.

Anyway, as I have extensively documented before, I have moved a thousand miles south to Nashville Tennessee this year, and this will be my first without ANYONE I know. Further complicating the mater is that fact that my wife is heading back north for the holidays. My mom is coming here, but her and Dean will be traveling on Christmas day, thus leaving me completely alone on Christmas. All this may sound over-dramatic, but truth be told, I'm excited to have a week of alone time. I get to just hang out, watch TV, stay up late, play video games, eat whatever....things like that. It's the Christmas spirit of togetherness that I will miss, as it has been on a downward slope in the past 5 years. Things change and I am well known to fear that change, then embrace the result, as it is usually out of my hands, and I am forced to play with the hand that is dealt. And that usually works out just fine. So my first Christmas as a married man will be one that is spent alone. And as you can tell by my tone, I have mixed emotions about it. Keep your phones on, readers...

-brad p in Nashville

Saturday Morning Fury

Sometimes this job makes me angry. I think sometimes it's myself I'm angry at. Sometimes, I let things happen here that shouldn't happen here, because I have no spine. I can't stand up to an employee that wants to break the rules, especially if they try to argue with me about it. For instance, just as I was finishing the previous hockey blog, an employee walked in and came to the security desk. She told me that her son was outside and was going to come in and be with her in the mail room. This is a problem because people really aren't supposed to have visitors here for an extended period of time. (Now that I think of it, this really isn't a problem because the kid is gonna be with the mama when he's here (presumably) and there for, this is legal.) But when she says "my son is here, can you let him in?" and I say "no, he's not allowed in here." And she says "Why not? He was allowed last time!" So I look at her with anger, as if to say with my facial expression that I'm not impressed with her and I open the side door to let the kid in. What the fuck people. Some of the employees here just have no clue what the rules are. No idea. And I know they should know, because they have been told before. But what we all must remember, at all times is that people are stupid, in general. Basically, what it all boils down to is that I have a hard time honestly caring about my job. I have a grand idea about doing the right thing, following the rules, and being the best officer on this site. But really, I find it hard to be motivated to do the right thing here. It's freezing over here, I get paid for shit, and it's full or morons. It's exactly what I was looking for, as far as distance from my home, level of physical work to be done and level or "responsibility," but does this job make me happy? Nope...I don't think any job will ever make me happy. To have a job that makes me happy, I would have to take a leap, and I'm just not motivated enough to change my current situation, and I doubt I ever will be.

***section removed to protect the names of the Innocent.***

I'm a little pissed off this morning. Just so you know.

###update###

So as I was finishing the blog, reading it over and spell-checking it, someone came to the door that forgot their badge, which happens all the time. When they forget their badge, I let them in and sign them out a temp one. When she said she forgot hers, I just said over the phone, "alright..." like in a low voice like I was not happy about it, which is about what I usually do when that happens. Well when she came around to the desk to get the temp, she says to me "You did'nt have to say it like that." And that just made me feel like a total jackass. I apologized, but I know I was not a very nice person to her. Fuck today, can I go back to bed please?

My Hockey experience (now) in Music City

I find it funny that once I moved to Nashville, Tennessee, I am MORE obsessed with hockey than I was in Michigan. How can this be? Michigan has a tradition of hockey, with the RedWings and that one hockey team that was in Houghton ages ago, that they still talk about. I move to the south, where collage football dullards run amok, and can't seem to separate myself from NHL.com, hockey blogs, and video game demos. The last part is a bit of an embellishment, as I have only played my demo version of NHL 10 on my PS3 about 5 times in the last month, so I would hardly call that obsessed. (you only get to play one period as either the Penguins or the DeadWings, so, yeah boring.) But I think it's the fact that I can finally latch on legitimately to an NHL team, due to the fact that they inexplicably have one here. I get to root for the predators, which is fine because of the fact that since their inception, they have been relatively successful. They have made the playoffs a bunch of times in their short existence. I never latched on to the Redwings when I lived in Michigan. The only explanation I can give is that, as a youngster, I knew nothing about hockey, but my best friend Pard played it. He told me that the Redwings suck and the Blackhawks were the best. So, I went along and for the rest of my life, I have told everyone that the Redwings suck. That's about it. The Redwings suck because...I said so? Yeah, that sounds right....

So as a life-long Redwings hater, it was easy to follow their rivals in the 90's and early 2000's, the Colorado Avalanche. Since everyone who liked the Wings hated the Avs, I naturally aligned myself with the enemy. This could have been any team Wings fans hated, but it happened to work out this way. When it became apparent that I would be moving to Nashville, I was aware of the fact that they had an NHL team here, and decided that I would look into changing allegiance. This was not that hard to do, as I don't think I saw a single Avalanche game (or highlight for that matter) last season. So I guess I'm a Predators fan now, and I love it. I love hockey, and now I have a team I can actually watch, and be surrounded by the fans, and not feel like I'm just rooting for a certain team just to piss someone else off. I live here, and I root for the home team. The Titans still suck though.

Consider this next part to be a completely different blog...maybe I should just make a different one so readers don't get discouraged by it's length? Part 2 coming next!

A Day to Remember

Sometimes, you know in advance when you are about to have a day you will never forget. Sometimes, things just happen in a day that make you remember that day forever. Today, I think, will be one of those days I will never forget. We have tickets to the Predators v.s. Panthers game tonight, and I'm super stoked!!! I've never seen an NHL game live before. I'm real excited to get see one. This will most likely mark the second Saturday in a months time that a day will occur that I will never forget. The Gay Blades show was definitely a day I will never forget. That was a planned unforgettable day, as is today. I already know then when I get off of work, we're gonna have a great day all the way to the end. Did I mention that Caleb and Megan are in town? They came for Thanksgiving (weekend) and it's been real nice to have them around. Unfortunately, I couldn't get time off from work, but these things happen. The span of working while they are here is a mere 24 hours (working 16 out of 24) so when I get off today at 2, I'll be free to do whatever with my friends! Can't wait!

I'm currently streaming an album released in 1999, by a band called American Football. The record is 10 years old and if someone told me it was released last month, I wouldn't doubt them, and I would probably say it has a good indie/chill/90's guitar feel to it. I dig it, but it kinda meanders a bit. Music is fun!

That is all today. I don't wanna write things anymore today.

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving 2009. The Lions are on, no one in Nashville cares. This includes me, but hey, it's football. so anyway, my good friends Caleb and Megan are currently en route to Music City USA, and I honestly can't wait till there here! They will be the first friends to visit us since we moved here. My mom has been here a couple times, and that's cool and all, but it's different tho actually have friends here. I don't really know what were gonna do when there here other than going to a Predators game. I guess we'll play it by ear. Either way, a good time will be had by all.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Brad

Sorry for making posts too long...

I realize that sometimes when I decide to write a blog, I have a vision of where I want the words to go. I walk the dog and think of topics I am slightly knowledgeable of, and just kind of go off on the topic. I try to make a mental outline of where I want to go. Then I start typing and everything goes to hell. My last blog was supposed to end up talking about how streaming music and paying a small fee to listen to it over and over again, without a monthly subscription fee (Napster, Rhapsody) was going to be the wave of the future of distributing music. Instead, I talked about what is wrong with the music industry, which I could go on for days about. I did not mean to make things so long winded. It's just something I'm a bit passionate about. I remember when I finished writing, I got distracted by something, which I don't even remember what it was, and didn't even bother to spell check it or end it on with a conclusion. What the heck could have distracted me so severely? I fell like when I read that, I was sleeping when I wrote it or something. I don't even remember writing most of that! Well, anyway...

I am in the middle of a weird phase right now where I'm completely obsessed with a number of different sports in a number of different ways. All I can think about all day is hockey. All I want to do all day is play NBA Live 10. All I want to do watch all day is football. I can't seem to focus on one particular sport in which I want to be completely obsessed with. If I had to choose between the options above, I would honestly play my Playstation 3 all day long. I'm not entirely sure how much I really care about the NBA right now, but I cannot stop playing this game! Unfortunately for me, the game is due back to the store tomorrow, so that will end that. But I want to buy it now so I can play the game every second of free time I have. What is wrong with me? But every time I pick up my computer, I go straight to hockey blogs and hockey news and hockey highlights, and hockey live feeds from my new favorite website that Caleb gave me. Football? Well my Niners suck so that is pissing me off. I still devote the majority of my Sundays plopped right here on my couch watching football, no matter who's playing. I love sports and I don't care who knows!

Goodnight from Nashville!

Is streaming music and paying for the right to stream that music at all times for a low price the future of music? It could easily be. I read a statistic in a book I read before that said that over half of the people surveyed that used Napster when it was going full-on said that they would continue using the site if they had to pay for it simply because of the fact that they liked the instant-ness of the whole thing. They liked that fact that they could get their music they wanted to hear without leaving the house, and having it right away, accessible at all times. With that said, I know there are still people that use Limewire or another site similar, to get music for free, because they don't want to pay for music. I understand that, I guess, but I'll go on record and say I'm against it. I deffenetly used to be the kid downloading a bunch of shit that I would not otherwise buy, just because I hate getting burned when I buy a CD that sucks. My defense was that I would steal the music, and if it was good, I would buy it. This rarely worked out, because I already had it so why spend money on something I already own? My thinking was that I would buy the music I actually liked, and support that. People would only buy the good shit, thus making people essentially "vote" for the types of music that was going to be successful. This theory does not work. People still steal music at mind-numbing rates, and buying physical CDs is on a continuing downward slope.

The advancement of iTunes into the population making music available for cheap is great. But there are a lot of problems with that from an industry standpoint. The first major problem with it is that now, when a song gets popular, the 99 cent single sells like crazy on the internet. That is to say people are still buying it, which is good for the companies, but it used to be a lot better. When a song like "the macaraina" or "who let the dogs out" or even that Chumbawumba song that was out in the 90s, people went out and dropped $15 - $20 on the entire CD to have that song. Now, you only have to spend 99 cents or $1.29 in most cases. The whole thing is great for the consumer, but terrible for the industry.

With that said, you have to ask yourself, whose side am I really on here? Well for me it's the artist. But the label ultimately means something to me, I guess. I personally want the entire industry to be successful, but I don't like reading about when bands got fucked over royally in the golden days because they could throw around money on the next big thing and dump a band like Saves the Day when their album doesnt sell enough copies in the first week. The majors are going to burn, this is true. But I don't want to see chaos in the industry either. Free music is great, everyone knows that. But it's unhealthy for the world of music. people should have to pay for it. That's just how I feel.

Another issue I had thought of was that online music stores like iTunes and Amazon are a problem because of the way you have to buy the music. Typically, you would need a credit card or a check card of some sort to buy music from your bank account. How many people under the age of 16 have checking accounts? Credit cards? Even people 16-24 don't always have access to those plastics. But chances are, they have a computer. And everyone they know, knows about free music sites. So the music is free. The one way I can think of is that Target and Walmart sell iTunes gift cards, but that still sucks because it takes away from the instant-ness of buying music online. scenario: "OH SHIT! THE NEW (insert obscure band name here) ALBUM IS OUT?!?! NO SHIT!!! OH HOW AM I GONNA GET THIS? I NEED TO HAVE MY MOM DRIVE ME TO WALMART, BUY A ITUNES CARD, COME BACK HOME, ENTER THE CODE AND I CAN HAVE IT! WOOHOO!!!"

or scenario #2: "OH SHIT! THE NEW (insert obscure band name here) ALBUM IS OUT?!?!?! NO SHIT!!! OH HOW AM I GONNA GET THIS? WELL MY MOM ISNT HOME TO TAKE ME TO THE STORE, AND I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!!! and he/she goes to limewire, or a bittorrent for that matter, and gets it, simply because he/she didn't want to wait.

that's all I have to say on this matter today. All I'm saying is that if you love it, support it. that means throwing your hard earned dollars at it. Because all the love in the world that you throw at your favorite band, doesn't matter if they aren't able to measure it.

Yeah. I'm back. Whatever.

So after an extended hiatus, I return with a vengeance and ready to admit that I still feel I have nothing to add to the blog-o-sphere. Lots of things on my mind this morning though...oh where to begin?

How about my attempt to quit smoking?

So, as you may know if you follow me on Twitter, I am attempting to quit smoking, after having done so for the past 15 (give or take, off and on) years. If you do the math, that would make me 11 years old when I "started" smoking. I put quotations around that because, I mean, really, did I consider myself a full-fledged smoker at age 11? probably not. But I know I did smoke cigarettes quite often at that very young age. It wasn't until the weekend before high school graduation that I realized that I was not alone in the smoking world. It was brought to my attention that my best friend, Chris Wright had been smoking on the DL for quite some time. Not to get into the history of how me and Chris even became friends in the first place, over a cigarette on the bluff behind Lincoln st., but anyway, once I realized that I was not alone in being a young, of age smoker, it became much more acceptable in my mind. I realized later that after Chris quit in 2004, our friendship started to erode. I realized that smoking cigarettes was what we had in common and what we did together. Though this is not about me and Chris' friendship, there is a real tie there with the social acceptability of the whole thing.

I pretty much always had a friend that was a smoking buddy. It's what we did. Weather that was Chris, my brother, Andy, whomever. I don't have a smoking buddy anymore. I don't need one like I used to when I was younger. But now I just feel like a sad, aging man, who relies on that smoke to maintain some form individuality and youth. To be young, smoke and be bad ass. I look at how unhealthy other people around me are and look and scoff at them sometimes. This comes from being a vegetarian and me thinking this makes me better than others, which it clearly doesn't. I have that same sense of belonging with a vegetarian crowd, although that is a crowd in which I don't know anyone else that is in it. It's weird, but basically I am an addictive personality with need to feel like I belong to something. That's where it makes it hard to quit. The other reasons it's hard to quit is the obvious physical addiction to nicotine.

Withdrawals are so fucking weird to describe. I go to a one-track mind about needing a cigarette. That's how I spent Thursday. All I thought about was how I needed a smoke, and I needed nicotine. Once I got some nicotine in my system, it seemed to lighten a bit, but still, it was my main focus. Another hiccup (literally) is that I am using these nicotine lozenges. They taste alright, like a weak mint, but they burn my throat, stomach and make me feel like I have to burp, but can't. If I eat too many, they give me painful hiccups. So I bought a pack of cigarettes last night, because the lozenges are not the same as the real thing. I'm working on making the right decision to have a lozenge instead of a cigarette, but sometimes there's no changing my mind on what I want. I use cigarettes as something to do when I'm bored at work, which is most of the time, so trying to find something else to occupy my time is an issue. I have a feeling this is going to be a long, drawn-out struggle, and I may not be successful this time, and I understand that. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try 100% to get there. I'm not giving up by saying I know this may not work out this time. I hope that by feeling that way, it doesn't give myself an exit strategy, a fatalistic view of the whole thing.

I want to win.

i shall return...very soon

This is quick reminder that I have not died and I will be returning to the "bloggosphere" er whatever its called, very soon. Like, tomorrow or Friday. I will try to make it a regular thing to write about stuff I think about. It's all bottled up right now and i'll let it out, for virtually no one, soon enough.

Stay Tuned. Listen to Owl City and pretend you never heard the Postal Service before, and you'll love it!

-Brad

Well I did it again, folks...

As usual, I fell asleep on blogging. Like always, I decided I had better things to do than blog about my life no virtually no one. I suck, and I vow to do better. One of the main reasons was due to the fact that the stolen Internet that I...um, steal, was not working very well. Well, it's still not working very well, but better, it seems. I keep dragging my feet on getting some legal, reliable Internet for the apartment, especially now that I've purchased a PS3. I would like nothing better than to go online with all of my awesome stuffs that I own, but I keep lagging on getting that information that I received to my wife, who ultimately holds the final say in what we do. Cost is an issue. I don't want to pay like fucking crazy for something that's too fast, yet I really don't want Internet that is so slow, why bother even paying for it. At least I wouldn't have these connection problems, because that's the issue now. But it's not like we can't afford it, we have extra money every week. a lot of extra money actually, and we usually blow it on bullshit. It's nice to go to mall, buy something and not feel all guilty about it though. I know we would still be able to go buy some clothes or video games or whatever and still be able to afford Internet here at our house, even if it is $60 a month. I've also heard horror stories about Comcast, and how their service is terrible. I really have no other option for a combination of speed, and price. To be honest, I feel that price is no issue, but speed is. I also don't want to pay like fucking crazy, like I stated before. I don't know, it just feels like I'm scarred to pull the trigger on something that will make my life happier and less frustrating. Just to be able to check my Facebook quick and read some articles and network with my friends miles away, quickly, would make my life so much easier. Not being able to connect on the patio is frustrating to all hell, to the point it kinda ruins my day.

It's been nice being able to go out and get/do all the things I want to do on a weekly basis. Like, I ordered a T-shirt offline yesterday (when it was working) and stuff like that. I can to to Target and buy whatever I want, within reason of coarse. I don't flinch when I drop $80 at target on stuff we need and also get stuff we want too. Living with a lot more money has been so nice, and I don't see it changing in the future either, unless something really shitty happens. But I'm not the type of person that worries about all the "what ifs" and I usually just enjoy what I have. I find life is much more enjoyable like this. What will be, will be. Not much you can do about the unforeseeable. I do, however, like to plan, contrary to my earlier statements. I plan for things I would like to achieve. Save money to go home, work out in the gym so I don't get huge. Things of that nature.

I also want to be more like Big Dave, lol. He made a podcast, which I have downloaded, but have yet to listen to. His blogs are very good, as Dave is a smart guy. I like to think I'm a smart guy too, but I don't have the immediate perspective as Dave does. I just want to be more like Big Dave.

As I mentioned above, I have been working out in our gym facilities that are here at our apartment complex lately. It's really hard to get the ambition to get up and go over there, but when I do, I feel so much better about myself. If I plan to work out one day, then I don't, I beat myself up all night about it at work. I look at myself in the mirror at work, in my white polo shirt of a uniform, and think how people must think when they see a security officer that looks like a jelly roll, or a cream puff. I want the people that I am hired to protect and assist feel like they have someone physically capable of doing so. When they see a pudgy little quiet, shy fellow sitting at the desk doing "nothing," they must think that I am worthless and anyone could do this job (which is probably true). People must think our security staff is totally incapable of doing anything remotely protective. That's part of the reason I need to get in shape. Also, I'm committed to helping my wife get in shape too, so she can feel better about herself. As I stated in a previous blog, I feel like the most unhealthy vegetarian in the world. I am currently taking steps to reverse that sentiment. Unfortunately, I still have days like yesterday where I only ate bean burritos for lunch and dinner, due to my unwavering laziness. Though, it was a cheap eats day, in defense.

So, today is a better day than the day before. I worked out, ate carrots, I'm already showered, so I don't have to do that in a rush. I can just prepare my lunch for work and mosey on in. Work should suck, as it's possibly the most boring job on planet earth, but that's exactly what I was looking for.

OK, have a good one.

My new haircut

So when trying to name the blog, I tried to come up with a creative name for it today, which technically, I did, because I am trying to reference the hilarious YouTube video of the same name, but all in all it just comes out as if I am going to talk about my new haircut. I might talk about it, but that's not the point. It's also an old video which makes this an aged reference, thus making the reference less funny, but the "chinaman is not the issue" as they say...

Though I believe the politically correct term would be "Asian-American"

Well, after I came to a conclusion that I am possibly the most unhealthy vegetarian on planet earth, I made an effort to do something about it. When we went grocery shopping, I bought an assortment of the usually vegetables one would usually chose at the store, but I really have no intention of using them other than eating them raw or steamed or in some sort of salad. My serious lack of culinary skills tells me that that's the only way I am able to enjoy them. The only thing I see when I see a raw carrot is it's in soup or its raw. I love raw carrots so that's not that big a deal I guess. But I feel like an idiot when the only vegetables I know how to do anything with is carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes, tomatoes, onions, and/or other leafy greens. I know that just eating these veggies is not enough to get all the nutrients you need to be a healthy person. I also use the old adage that, I haven't died from not eating these foods this long, what will make me die from it now? There are a lot of vitamins and minerals missing from those foods. The types of things that are in the more obscure foods, and naturally occurring BTW, which is the best way to get them, I guess I'm missing out on them. I don't know what do to with squash. I don't really like it anyway, but I guess you can bake it or steam it. Cucumber? Fuck cucumber. But it's probably really good for you! I should just buy some and eat it.

I just got a message that my answer tone "Heaven" has expired today. I'm not going to get it back, because I don't care, lol.

So basically, I'm making an effort to eat some of the veggies I have neglected in the past year-ish. I am also on a yogurt kick. I go on kicks of things and yogurt is this weeks "kick." The only "kick" that I've gotten started and haven't stopped yet is coffee. I really, really like coffee. The main reason for all the awakening about the veggies and stuff is the fact that I've gained like, 15lbs since moving to Nashville. I swear to god, I lost significant weight and always kept it off when I worked midnights. I got off mids when I moved here, and viola!!!! 15lbs...never fails.

Welp, I don't know what else to tell you today. I go back to work today at 2, and I'm not dreading it. Work is alright.

Questioning my place/Nashville is cool

So sometimes, I wonder what drives me to write a blog anyway. This problem has always plagued me in past attempts to maintain a record of events of my life. I get ideas that I would like to share, but usually I just start writing about things I hope will happen in the near future. I think I do that because I need to put it in writing how I want things to go. It's my retarded way of planing for the future. Perhaps I should be more reflective sometimes. But storytelling is not my strong point because I tend to be long winded and I also seem to run into a case of, "ya had to be there."
But I guess my lack of attempts to do so would indicate that I just am not interested in that sort of thing, for myself at least. Ya see, now that I have begun this way, if I dive into a "story" it will seem forced. I dont know, let's see what comes out and how many times I jump off topic.

So my parents came to town on Friday night. That was cool, and we did a lot of stuff in a mere 4 days. I ate Japanese, Italian, southern and Mexican foods while they were here. Rich parents are good for eating out 5 or 6 times in a 4 day span. Talking about food makes me realize I didn't eat breakfast. The tummy rumbles. But yeah, we went to this place called Goten, its a Japanese hibachi type deal. I drank some Kirin Ichiban and Dean was drinking this unfiltered Sake stuff. He was gettin real drunk at that point. Well we ended up downtown Nashville. I havent been downtown for more than just walking around a few times looking at all the places. Well we ventured into a few establishments down there, one of them being Coyote Ugly. I tell ya, that was a trip. One problem I had with the place was the bathroom setup. it was very open and talkative. This poses a problem for me because of my insanely shy bladder. I attempted and failed to piss in that bathroom 4 times. I was in pain, yet I could not realease!!! I had to leave the place and use the facilities in the much quiter bar upstairs. While I was in there, my mom and wife couldnt find Dean. Turns out, he was back in the bar buying a body shot. I guess he walked out of the place with his shirt over his head and his belt wrapped around it or something crazy. I dont know but he seemed to enjoy it. I would never do something like that. I'm way too shy, but those girls there were pretty hott.

Well we wondered around downtown for a while hitting a few bars, with a stop at Mikes Ice cream shop, where the owner used to be a student in Dean's 7th grade class, or something. That took entirely too long, and it nearly killed all of my buzz. The night ended with Dean dancing to a band playing a cover of "she thinks my tractor's sexy" and repeating things about Sexy Tractors for the rest of the night.

Sunday night, we ate Mexican and went grocery shopping. Boring. But we did play scrabble and I beat my mom in a one on one match after th 4 way battle had ended.

Monday, we golfed in the morning. I didn't keep score, but I felt like I played well. Dean is getting better at golfing, but he still isn't that good. My mom has a swing like Charles Barkley, which is fun to watch. But Dean gave me a tip on my swing that helped me insanely. Now that I remembered this swing tip, I cant wait to go golf again, which I can only hope will be sometime next week, depending on finances. I have 2 and a half holes in my golf glove now though, so I need to do some shopping.

After golf, Dean and I went to Titans training camp and watched them do stuff. that was pretty cool. We were a half an hour late to pick up Bethany then, whoops. We went to Demos' for dinner which has great Italian. After that, we tried to go to the opryland hotel, but it was friggin $18 to park, so we said screw that. We went to the wine and liquer store and bought some shit, came home and played scrabble again, and I won. I actually got rather drunk that night. Felt good.

Tuesday, we ate Monells, which is a Southern food family dinner place where you pass the food around the table. After we left there, by a stroke of luck, we took a wrong turn and ended up at a bar called 3rd and Lindsay. When we walked in, the guy at the door asked us if we were here to see the band, and that there was a cover. We said we would think about it and if we stayed, we would pay. We decided after 2 hours of drinkin, that we would leave if he wouldnt let us stay at this point. Well the cover was $10. We were ready to walk out and go either somewhere else or go home when were smoking outside, and started talking to a guy there. He informed us that we should not leave, and that were about to see the absolute best musician in all of Nashville, and that's a lot of musicians. He told us these guys were all session players and only play out once in a while. Well the main guy's name is Brett Mason, and he is known as "the most recorded person in the history of music." Once we realize that were about to see something pretty amazing, we decided to stay. This band was worth every penny of a $10 cover. It was up there in the best live music I have ever seen. period.

So they left on wednesday afternoon, as I was going to work. overall, a good time was had by all. Sorry this is so fucking long, I really should have done this in a different format. Long story short, Dean liked Nashville so much, he's looking into jobs here, now. But I do feel that if my mom moved here, it would be counter-productive of my development as a human. more on that another time.

And...Scene

Coupole things on my mindd today. #1, I'm at work. I certainly hope this computer stays here on this desk so I can surf away more next weekend. it has helped this morning in getting going and staying unbored. Only trouble, you cannot access social networking sites. Oh and the space bar is like a friggin' typewriter. In other words, it's really loud and clicky. I might have to procure a new one from elsewhere.

K so I got a new keyboard, and this is much better. Though it belongs to my supervisor's computer, and it feels kinda gross, so I'll have to remember to sanatize my hands when I'm done.

The other things on my mind this morning involve, what else, but music? I realized that living in Michigan, specifically, the U.P., I was rather sheltered to any type of "scene." Now that I live in Nashville, I'm pretty sure there's a scene here. Unfortunatly, I have yet to seek that out. This is, as you may know, Music City USA, or so they say. Even if I did find this scene, I feel that it would be better suited for a 16 year old that a 26 year old, but perhaps I'm only thinking of one particular scene, which would be an underground punk scene. I still love punk music in general, and I admire the old grizzled punks that are in their 30's and 40's now that remember when what they were doing was revolutionary, or so it turned out. I wonder if those people look back on the times of rebelry and view them in the same light as when it was happening. I wonder if, through the passage of time, the era has become more glorified. Like, I went to some Witness This shows and stuff back home when I was in high school, and I look back on that now as a point of reference where I felt part of something, musically. But when I really think about it, I was just going to a show that some guys I knew were in. Nothing too special. But I have glorified that time to be something more to me. I wonder if others have done the same thing for similar situations, just in bigger towns. So will I find a scene here in Nashville? I would certainly like to try. Even though I'm sure it will be tilted towards a more "Indie" scene, I'm sure, because of my musical taste "maturity."

In other news, I got my hands on a can of Tab this morning. I haven't tasted Tab in ages, but when I saw one, I was all like, "I should try that again." I was totally shocked to find out that it tasted extremely similar to my beloved Coke Zero. It makes me wonder if they just repackaged Tab in a black can (originally in a white can) and marketed it as "Zero" so they could just boost sales essentally of Tab. It obviously wouldnt sell more Tab, that's an entirely different product, not in taste, obviously, but in packageing and labeling. Dunno, but I was pleasantly suprised.

Also, my mom and Dean are in town. They got in at approximately 10:30 last night. Well I stayed up and chatted with them for about an hour, but it was in my best interest to go to bed because I had to wake up early. I set the alarm for 4:44 a.m. That is exceptionally early, my friends. so that means I got about 5 hours of sleep. It took 3 entire cups of coffee to wake me up this morning, which is alarming because it usually only takes like, one and a half. I know there will be the crash from it eventually, and that is going to suck hard. But the fact that my parents are here should be a nice motivating factor to the rest of my day. I get an additional day off this week and am taking a hit on the paycheck, but spending more time with my parents is more important that money.

So that's what I got today. I'll see you later. Might be a few days, but ya never know...

Songs

Sometimes, a song will just hit you. It hits you hard. And you want to tell the whole world about how amazing this song is or an entire album or band in general. And sometimes you want to tell the entire world (everyone you know) about how amazing this music made you feel. The problem is that when you have someone else hears it, they may not get the same feeling you had gotten from it. This frustrates me. Band of Horses is a band I feel everyone should listen to because they are so good, even though it's really pretty simple music.

that is all.

Don't wanna blow it all, but...

So I got paid today. This usually means I go all crazy with my money, buying things and stuff. Well I told myself this morning that I think I would really appreciate it eventually if I didn't spend like, half of my money in one day, and save some for later, so when it builds up, I am totally loaded. Well then I start to hatch ways to blow all my money. For instance, today I got all existential and started thinking about how we, as humans, are not the center of the universe and that other life forms probably exist, but we are on this tiny little earth. I feel that the complexity of our being has got to be extremely fragile, and that everything is connected one way or another. The universe is bigger than our minds can even begin to fathom. So the fact that I got paid today seems pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, as well as things like how well my coffee tastes and how hot it's going to get today. It's all just the tiniest blip on the radar in the "space-time continuum" or whatever.

So that got me thinking about this book that was brought to my attention last year called "Pale Blue Dot" which basically talks about exactly what I was thinking this morning. Then I started thinking about the other books I have been meaning to buy. So I went to Amazon and checked them out. Overall, the price for 3 books was only $32 even after shipping, but then I was thinking about how I didn't want to spend a shit-ton of money right away...But I'm all excited about these books and I want them. So instead of ordering them online, I think I'll take a shower and head to the bookstore and buy them, to save on the shipping. Plus, once I get there, I doubt I'll buy all three, sighting the cost, and stuff. I just remember getting paid last week and going to the record store and blowing $40, and how I realized later that that was a good chunk of money. Even though I don't regret the purchases, I still wish I had that money. This is also a factor in why I don't want to buy a bunch of books because I would like to be able to justify buying a CD or two in the near future. I don't know what I would buy though, therefore I have settled, I will take this shower, head to Books-a-Million, (the closes book store I know of) and buy one, two or all three of these books.

I also begin to think about how I already haven't read all of the latest AP, and I read the newspaper every morning, when the hell am I going to find time to read three books? This quandary doesn't bother me that much, cuz I know I'll find time. Plus, I miss books.

Yes, I am off to the store now. Be safe, be lawful, and I'll talk to you later.

-The guy who wrote this

a quickie??

So somehow, it's already 12:35, so I must go quick. I ate a lot of Vegetables this morning which always makes me feel better about myself. How can a vegetarian eat so little actual vegetables? I need to make a concise effort to include more fresh veggies into my diet. I just remembered making a comment to myself this morning while making breakfast that "This would be totally vegan if I didn't add the cheese. Yeah, I say this while pouring the veggies over EGGS! Oh well, I would like to go totally vegan and organic, but it's seriously impossible when your wife can't really eat soy and you enjoy cheese and eggs so damn much. I always say, if I were vegan, what would I eat? Wouldn't that be a good thing considering I'm fat? Maybe I would eat less?

I also told Bethany I would fix the TV today. I should really hurry up to do that because I need to get ready for work at some point. I can not bathe today, which is prolly gonna be really gross by 10 p.m. tonight. I'll wash my hair in the sink, which seriously cuts down my work preparation time, so I am worrying less about that now. I'll bring a box of food to work, cuz I'm to lazy to make Mac n' Cheese. I don't know, maybe I'll suck it up and cook that. I should eat something before I go to work anyway.

The thought of going to a Tennessee Titans game has finally entered my brain in a serious way. But the thought of buying a new TV makes me much more excited. I priced them out on Walmart and Target's websites, but I realized that I really don't care about how awesome the TV is. It's better than what were currently rolling with. I went to Best Buy the other day, and as I talked to the salesman, I realized that there is a lot more to think about when buying a new TV, and quite frankly, I don't want to think about those thoughts. I really don't care. If it's an LCD TV, 32 inches or bigger, that's all I care about. I will feel like a dumb ass when I walk into the place and tell them that I don't even have a satellite or even cable. Does this seem like buying overkill? Usually people that go out and drop hundreds of dollars on a new TV have channels they intend to view on said TV. Now the fact that I don't currently have cable or satellite does not indicate that I will never have these things. I want to spend $400 so I don't have to get up and "fix" the TV every 5 seconds while watching a movie or playing a video game. Plus my TV is an old ass CRT from 1999. I got it the same Christmas as my Dreamcast for Christ sake...lol no pun intended.

So I will now go fuck with the TV. Until next time, ta ta

(is that my new sign off? gawd i hope not)

The Hangover

So apprently I drank way more than I origanally thought on Sunday night. I spent all day yesterday with a killer hangover, which I figured would go away by the afternoon. I wrote yesterdays blog with a headache and feeling a bit ill. Well, the damn headache never went away, even into the night. I woke up today with a headache still. Maybe it's a tumor? Maybe it's an anyerisim? Maybe I shouldnt drink so much whiskey? I'll go with the 3rd option. I think I'm just massivly dehydrated. But drinking a bunch of water just seems so unappealing. I never have to take 4 doses of asprin in a day and a half span. I never get headaches. So needless to say, I'm being a bit of a baby about the whole thing. Alright, alright, I'm going to get the bottle of water to chug...

Fingers crossed.

So today, I head back to work for a 2-10 shift. I actually don't care at all that I have to go back. I know i'll be working with Derrick, which is a good/bad situation. I like the guy, but I deffinetly do not want to get too close to him simply because I don't think he is someone I should totally trust. I know me, and eventually I'll be the nice guy and offer him something that he will ultimately take advantage of. He seems to be the type of guy that latches onto others that will help him in the general advancment of himself. He's definetly not the smartest man I've ever met. He seems well intentioned, most of the time, but he also seems to not care really who gets screwed over for his own benefit. i.e. me.

**chug**

I was thinking the other day that my addiction to buying music has perhaps hit a bit of a wall. I've basically procured everything I had an interest in up to this point. That's when I'm sitting here, writing a blog, and I remember walking into Grimeys and hearing the most mind-bending awsome music I've heard in quite some time. Apparently, the band was called Lightning Bolt, and I've had intentions to look up this band and find out what they are all about. The music was really technical and awesome. I want to know more about them, so after I hit "post" I'm heading out onto the interwebz to figure out where they came from, what era, how many members, how many albums, what other bands are associated, etc.

I expect the maintenance guy to come to the apartment at some point today, which is always an interesting position. I am always leary of letting anyone into my house, especially if I dont know them. It's such an uncomfortalbe feeling to have an unknown visitor in you house. You just kind of feel vulnerable. It feels like you dont know what to do in your own home. So he's got to fix a few things around here, and that's cool and all, but I'd really rather no one came here, personally.

Here's some random thoughts...

• Is "I gotta feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas a good song? I can't tell, but my instincts say yes.

• It was nice to talk to Brian Chapman and Jesse Smith the last couple days.

• I want to upload the pics from Titans camp, but I havent even looked at them, and I doubt they're worth it

• I did not shower yesterday, even though I went in the pool and that's gross

• I have used one tank of gas in 11 days. Unheard of!

• I was home all day yesterday, and never turned on Animal Crossing. Rare!

• These are all tweet worthy, btw. I guess these are rejected tweets...

• Wish I had internet in the house, so I could surf from the comfort of my couch/dining room table

• I get paid on Friday, and I'm trying really hard not to "prespend" the whole thing this time.

Ok well that is all from Nashville...Untill next time, tata.

I don't know what I want.

I titled the blog before I wrote it, because I wasn't sure what was going to come out. I don't know what I want to write about. Today is a Monday, which is usually a day people tend to hate. Not me, at least, not anymore. I have no reason to hate Mondays. I am off on Mondays, so therefore I kinda love Mondays. I guess if anything, I would hate Tuesdays, simply because of work. But i really don't have any reason to hate any day I work because my job is such a cake walk anyway. Just show up, try not to get too bored. It is the ideal gig for me. Like I told Brian on the phone last night, it's exactly what I used to do as a tech, but when I do nothing for an entire 8 hour shift, that's OK. In fact, that's what I'm supposed to do! All I have to do is hope that nothing out of the ordinary happens while there. Thus far, it has been smooth. I really, really hope it stays that way.

So I try to read the Tennessean every morning. This morning I actually accomplished more of that task than usual actually, probably due to the fact that Monday's paper usually is much thinner and less daunting than other days. But today seemed exceptionally thin on news stories. I read the stories on the main page, which continued to the back pages, and when those were finished, i realized that there were no short middle stories withing the other pages. They were all just continuations of front page stories. My favorite part of the paper has become the Opinion section. Don't know why I never fell in love with the opinion section in the Mining Journal, but I just think there are so many people down here that i have conflicting views with that it just makes them funny as hell to read. I realized this morning that I can place any letter to the editor into three different categories. There is the nice person who wants to thank someone for recognizing something they believe in. There's the pissed off republican who actually seems relatively well informed and well intentioned, but comes across as a crazy southerner who won't let his beliefs and way of life be compromised by people he believes are after him, just making him out to be a paranoid sore loser. And then theres the condescending asshole. This term is copywritten by Bethany Perala actually, so props to her for that. The condescending asshole is the guy who is basically saying "well done, asshole." This individual usually is on the borderline of being the pissed off republican, but he's just more fed up with stuff and knows theres no way he can get what he wants if he is a pissed off republican, because he knows how that really looks, as I indicated above. He also seems more in disbelief of what he sees going on around him, as if he was also surprised when his son or daughter all of a sudden grows up and gets a job, moves out, starts a family, and wonders what the hell happened. I wish I could provide examples, but it's not that i tried to find examples and had a hurdle in providing them, it's just that I'm too lazy to seek them out. I don't know if they're available on their website or whatever, but if so, seek them out and read some. I don't get excited about shit for nothing.

I drank Makers Mark last night, as well as some PBR Light. The only person i could have been a drunk asshole to was my wife and I don't know if i came across as that way, but it certainly feels that way this morning. I hate myself when I'm drunk because I don't know how to control myself. This is a problem dating back to the first time I ever even drank. Hate it hate it hate it. Wish I could change it, but don't know how. I got an idea, FUCK IT.

**takes break to check phone for Twitter updates.** **Circa Survive signed to Atlantic**

How come everyone seems to know who Circa Survive is. I have no fucking clue who they are. One thing i do know, is that that italic part was a total accident. I just thought of a great band name!!! Itallica. That's fucking great. This part at the end got useless didn't it?

until tomorrow or something, piece out!!!

JP brought it back, so I will too.

So Jason Pettigrew brought back his blog from the death bed, and even though I doubt ANYONE will read this, I am doing the same. I always struggle with the idea of promoting my own blog adventures. What if I put shit in here that I don't really want people to read? Perhaps, I shouldn't do that? But then there's always the shameless feeling of shameless self-promotion? Don't know, man. But i had been thinking lately how it would be nice to chronicle the homesickness, so I will know exactly how i felt on a day to day (or week to week) basis. You know, document my ups and downs. So I am considering a serious blog revival. It's not like I don't have time for it. I usually just fuck around all morning, not doing anything productive. Reading the paper and drinking a lot of coffee is a problem I have been dealing with. I do this routine every morning, and I think i should change it up once in a while. So consider the Blog a change-up to my morning paper/coffee fastball.

Alright, about that homesickness thing...Yeah it's been rough. Ive been told by friends that have moved away from the U.P. that it never really goes away. Tom Featherstone told me that it gets better, but never goes totally away. This was also the sentiment of Tammy Runstrom. That truly sucks to hear, because if it never goes totally away, what will I become in the future? I have been toeing the line of a complete wreck in the last couple weeks. I pick up my guitar, even though i don't really claim to know how to play it. Not to say I suck, but lets just say I only know like, 7 chords. Whatever, what I'm saying here is that I really want to express my "pain" through song, but I don't know how to write a vocal melody. I just follow the melody of the tune, which apparently is pretty amature. Every time I pick up the guitar, I end up feeling worse off, because i don't know what I'm doing.

But yeah, I miss everyone I know. And that hurts, knowing i wont be able to see anyone I love besides my wife for a long time. I am so excited for when Caleb and Megan come down here eventually. They are the only people that are even talking about coming.

Tim called me the other night which was a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately, after i got off the phone with him, I ended up feeling even worse. He told me that after the departure of Andy from the band, which marked three fifths of Dead Cities now departed from Dead Cities, they were still truckin' on, finding a new name, but still playing Tim's songs from Dead Cities. This bothered me a little because I was really hoping to get the Dead Cities album finished so I could have a record of the greatest time of our lives. But if Tim and TJ are taking their songs to the new endeavor, those are no longer Dead Cities songs. Therefore, we only have Andy's songs as Dead Cites material. FUCK, MAN. So I see it as, "piss on the past, we're moving on." I know I shouldn't feel that way, because i really want those guys to keep on playing music. I can't, nor want to stop them. It's just frustrating that I wont be a part of something that I realistically should be a part of. This is the hardest issue i have to deal with in moving 1000 miles south. My band. I miss my band more than I could have imagined upon departure.

No one told me that the homesickness would get wayyyy worse before it gets a little better. Nashville is a cool ass town, but it's not even close to the Greater Negaunee-Marquette area.

4-20 day, dude like WOAH!!!

So today was yet another day of sleeping in and waking up with not enough time to really enjoy my time at home without the wife. I hope that doesnt sound too terrible, but it's sometimes nice to have a break from people, and i mean all people, even the ones I love. I spent most of my time growing up entertaining myself. I spent a lot of time just being alone, in my room. So I was prety used to that. Well now that im married, and my wife is unemployed, i really dont bet time away from people anymore. So she's in Nashville, trying to get a job. I spend my days sleeping, which is not that cool, to be honest.

Now to follow up on what i wrote yesterday. I went directly to Target after work and bought the new Silversun Pickups record. Totally a good decision. That album is really, really good and i recomend it to anyone with a taste for good music. Now, what should I do about this Manchester Orchestra record??? I think I'll wait till Bethany gets back and buy it digitally, so i can put it on the iPod. This is because of two reasons. One, I doubt they'll have it at Target. Two, if i buy it with my laptop, Itll be harder for me to put onto the iPod eventually, because i rarely use that thing. And, also, I wont be able to listen to it in the car anyway untill Bethany gets back so whats the point of buying it now when i cant even really listen to it? Done.

Well, it snowed today. April 20th, and it snowed a wet heavy bullshit on our heads. Driving to work was an adventure to say the least. I felt like I was driving in sand. I was really hoping the car in front of me on 41 wouldnt stop because i felt if I came to a stop, I would be stuck on the highway. I was 3 minutes late for work but that was because of the weather basically. I doubt ill get nailed fot it. Though Seymour is a total dickhead, so ya never know!!!

One positive about Bethany being gone for these 4 days is I get to watch whatever I want on TV. This means nothing but SPORTS!!! I am also a big fan of the times when the scheduled Baseball game on ESPN gets rained out and they do the "live lookins" around the league. So I'm sitting on my couch watching the Pirates and the Marlins. A game I would otherwise NEVER see! Also they were showing the Astros and Reds. The same thing goes for that game, never would it be on TV. I really enjoy seeing teams other than the fucking Redsox and Tigers and Angels. I guess I'm basically sick to death of the American League. American League is zzzzzzzz.

Also, the Bulls were on TV tonight. Playoff Basketball is pretty good stuff actually. Regular season shit is just a bunch of overpaid player jogging and shooting easy buckets with little to no defense. That's why i perfer the Collage game over NBA most of the time. The only problem I have with collage basketball is I have no aligence to any of the teams. I have no aligence to any collage team in any sport as a matter of fact. I do root for the Irish in Football but not very hard. What a fucking tangent this has turned into eh? THE POINT: Bulls lost and i actualy got to listen to the 4th quarter in the car on the way to work. I listened to Basketball OVER this amazing new Silversun album.

I burned a copy of Swoon to run into Subway and give to Tim for an early birthday present, but he was'nt working, so I just pocketed it. I'm glad i did cuz i uploaded it to the work computer and now I can listen to it over and over!!! I might give the copy to someone else if I feel they might dig it. I can always burn a new copy for Tim later. In fact id be suprised if he doesnt go buy it himself. He was the one that gave me a copy of their first album anyway. I just figured, get one to him, if he dont need it, ill give it to someone else. No matter what, someone is getting a copy of Swoon!!!!!!

Thank you,
Brad

Musica

So, I sit here, blogging at work. I wish i could get paid to do this, lol. Technically I guess, I am.

OK, so I've had my mind set on buying the new Manchester Orchestra record that comes out tomorrow. Ive had my mind set on this for weeks now. Well, I also knew that the new Silversun Pickups record was coming out soon as well. From what I had read, I wasn't too sure if I was gonna bother with it immediately. I was gonna focus on getting that Man-O album. Well I realized today that it came out last Tuesday. Silversun record that is. So decided to go and check out a few of the tracks.

This is where it gets interesting. The Silversun album is fucking awesome. Now what do I do? I feel I must own this record! But the Manchester Orchestra comes out Tomorrow!

Two options are presented at this time. I go to Target in the morning and see if they have the Silversun record. What if they do? Do I buy it? Chances are high that i would, since I'm already there. But I've been raving to anyone in earshot for the last two weeks about this Manchester Orchestra album. If I buy the silversun album tomorrow, can I justify also purchasing the Man-O record too? Or does one have to wait? Additionally, what if Target doesn't have either album, or just one or the other? I was planning on buying the Manchester Orchestra album digitally anyway, but the more I think about it, the more i want it/both in physical form. I would probably get hung by my wife for buying 2 albums when we're pretty broke. But g'damnit I love music and I am very stoked about both of these records. So whats it gonna be?

I may have to go off of which one I am more confident i will be totally in love with. Which album will I be totally obsessed with for the next month or so? Which record will be the soundtrack of my spring?

Hopefully both.

-Brad

Is there really a need for a new blog?

So I woke up this morning and thought to myself, I need a new blog don't I? Well the answer is probably not, but i got one anyway.

This is usually the point where I point out the obvious that this is a new blog and blah de blah...Not this time damn it! Im gonna just jump right in.

Last night was really fun. I went to Joe's with Bethany, Kristi, and Stephanie. We had a good time, playin' the usual PnA. I got pissed though when Kristi made a comment about my dealing and I didn't wanna play no more. So yeah it was good though. I drank some Busch light and stuff. And ate a lot of Joe's pizza. The pizza sucked, but it was food.

So I woke up a little extra early this morning. Partially due to the fact that I knew I have to wake up really early tommarow. Gots to lay down th e drum trax! I'm so excited about that!

Well i want some Wheaties now, so bye.