Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Regret

So I haven't written anything in a few days, mainly because I know I should not have written the post I did the other day.  I feel really stupid for writing about kids names.  I do.  I should just stick to my opinions, but I realized that I'm just not the type of person who should be telling people what they should and shouldn't do.  I really shouldn't.  So in my feeling bad, I just stopped writing altogether.  I wondered if I should just shut it down, because I keep making myself feel like a jackass for saying things like that.  So after thinking about it some, I decided that the best course of action would to just keep doing what I have been doing, but just think twice before I decide to lambaste something that someone my feel very differently about.

I want to stress, I just am not the type of person to say someone else is stupid for doing something I wouldn't do.  Everyone is different, and will do different things.  There are other people out there that can write about the wrongs of society better than I can, so I'll just leave it to them.  For now, I'll stick to what I am comfortable with.

I don't know if I actually offended someone I know specifically, because no one has actually said so to me.  But the fact that that might happen made me realize what I could have done wrong here.  Bottom line, I shouldn't have written that post the other day.  I'm sorry if you took offense.  Let's move on.  

Monday, April 18, 2011

N is for Names

Now that we have let Saturday's post sink in a little, I discovered a website that puts what I was trying to say in a much better, and funnier way.  It's called Stupid Kid Names, and can be found here.  Go there and laugh at stupid people who name their kids stupid names like Kenzyngtyn, for Christ's sake...

What I wanted to talk about is shortening of peoples names.  People with normal names, and some with the unusual names as well, will often shorten them to make it easier to talk about them.  Less syllables is just easier, generally accepted and preferred way to address people. Sometimes it's not even a shortening, it's more of a common nickname for people with that name, although that seems to not be as prevalent these days, it's still true a lot of the time.

For example, people named Robert are often called Bob, for some reason.  People named Richard are called Dick.  People named Charles are called Chuck. People named William are called Bill. Why?  I honestly don't know.  I'm sure there is a reason, as there is a reason for everything.  I could look it up, but I'll just wonder aloud with you all reading along.  But nearly everyone who has a multiple-syllable name has it shortened down to one.  Hell, my given name is Bradley, but I've always been called Brad.  Jeffery, David, Christopher, Steven (or Stephen), Thomas, Michael, Timothy, Andrew, Albert and Patrick are all very common names that are very often shortened to one syllable by just about everyone I've ever known with these names.  Also, Bethany is often shortened to Beth. My wife's name is Bethany, and she goes by Bethany.  Who the Hell is Beth?

Some people have a hard time accepting when someone wants to go by their full name.  It's an interesting phenomenon.  (I just spelled phenomenon correctly on the first try, +2 points to me)  Some people catch on right away, when you see the name written down on someone you just met, and it says his name is Timothy, so you automatically call him Tim.  He might correct you saying something polite like "I usually go by Timothy."  Okay, enough said.  No problem.  I will call you Timothy.  Sometimes you don't have the luxury of asking, so you just go by what others call that person.  You pick up on the cues of others and learn what they go by.  Someone always refers someone you work with as David, you call that person David until he says "just call me Dave or D.J."  I always default to the accepted shortened name unless told otherwise.

But some people just have a hard time accepting that someone goes by their full name.  I have friends, good friends, who will forever refer to my wife as Beth.  "Is Beth coming too?"  "...Yes, she is." I say in return.  Because I understand how some people feel about it.  They're so used to defaulting to the common shortened version that using the full version is just uncomfortable.

It's all about picking up on clues from the people around you.  It's okay to call someone by their full name if they're not used to it.  If they really hate it, they'll tell you.  Some people at my current job (like my supervisor) call me Bradley all the time, because I never told them to call me anything else.  It's strange, because I would have thought they would have defaulted to my common shortened name, but they didn't.  It's the first time in my life I've been called Bradley more than Brad.

I don't know, just a thought.  

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Posts About Babies: Due Date

It has finally arrived.  It's April 17th, the date I have been telling people about for around seven months now is here.  When I would say the date when I first learned of it's significance, it seemed like it was ages away.  Well, it's here now, and there is no baby yet.  I didn't think we'd make it this far.  I figured she'd come early, as some first born kids tend to do.  But no, she's comfortable in there, I guess.

My mom told me I was a month overdue.  Maybe this is why she won't come out?  She is obviously my child, as she doesn't want change to happen.  I hate change.  I like routine.  I guess she does too.  But just because I understand, doesn't mean I like it.

No, she needs to be born now.  We're just sitting here, waiting.  Our mothers are calling twice a day, checking in, seeing how my wife is doing.  Any minute now...

The pregnancy went by so fast, I can only imagine how quickly she will grow up.  I've heard of parents saying that before you know it, the kid is in High School, and you're wondering what happened to that little baby you had not all that long ago.  Because I know this, I'm going to make sure I cherish every minute of when she's little.  You can't get it back, so enjoy it while you can.  Before I know what hit me, she'll be asking to borrow the car and shit.  So, I'd like to get the memories started, damn it.

When she is born, this blog will fall silent for a minute, I imagine.  I'll try to update, but what does it matter if I do?  I'll be tweeting anyway.  If something needs to be further explained, I'll come here.  Until then, read on, my friends.  Hopefully this is the last Post About Babies that is about my pregnant wife.  Though you just never know just how stubborn she will be.  

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Baby Jaceyon? Holy Shit, People

Here's how I do this.  I think of ideas for posts, and sometimes I forget them.  I realized this was a problem so I came up with a solution.  Now, when I think of a good subject but don't have time to write it, I make a note on my iPhone.  Now, I shouldn't forget as many posts in the future.  Problem solved.

It must go along the lines of "great minds think alike," because our good friend over at Big Dave and Company wrote a post on Thursday about names, as part of his annual Alphabetic post series.  Earlier this week, I put a note in my phone to write about peoples names.  So it may look like I was inspired by Mr. Big Dave, but I was not.  In case someone who reads this blog also reads his, this is the disclaimer, I guess.

Cute babies need good names
The title of this blog is apparently a new, and completely retarded way to spell Jason.  Shoot me.

Names are a funny thing.  Names used to be normal, or as normal as we could imagine.  There were enough unique names in my graduating class that there were only a handful of repeats out of the class of 111 kids.  But now, different story.  If any kid has the same name in their class, they must feel a real shame.  The way parents have been naming their kids lately, it's infuriating to me.  Is it a desire to make their kids seem like a unique and individual snow flake in society.  I think it makes you look like someone who, first of all, can't spell. Secondly, makes you look like an egotistical jackass.  I will refraign from naming names of parents, but I guess a few examples off the top of my head include names like Austlynn, or Chord.  Yes, Chord.  What drives me crazy is when someone takes two respectable names and smashes them together to make one new, altogether stupid, made-up name.  I can make up dumb names, too.  Chauncley, Bronxtonly, uh...lemme think...Shrimpleigh...I don't know.  People will name their kids anything now a days.  There are no rules.

One of the biggest offenders of name bastardization is probably the name Kaylee.  I tried to decide on what the standard spelling of that name could be, but it's hard because everyone seems to love to add all kinds of letters and subtract letters at will when choosing this name.  My good friend T.J. (a rather normal take on a name, by the way) was doing some teaching a while back and had FOUR different girls named Kaylee in one class and ALL WERE SPELLED DIFFERENTLY.  UGH.  Come on, people.

Now, I know that criticizing someone for the name of their child is a touchy subject because it's their pride and joy.  A name is stuck with the person for life, and no one really, honestly wants to screw that up.  I wrestled with naming my own daughter Evelyn, because I didn't want to come across as some jackass, for whatever reason someone wants to perceive me as.  It's in the eye of the beholder, I guess, but man, at least it's a classic name.  To me, it screams elegance, plus it's her great-grandmother's name, so that's important.  I would guess no ones grandma was named Carmenleigh.  So knock it off, mothers and fathers.  Just because she or he has a unique, creative name, it does not automatically make the kid a unique, creative person.  That comes with solid parenting and perhaps a little luck and genetics.

Ha!  Well, this isn't even the post I wanted to write, but it's so much better than what I was going to write anyway.  I hate stupid names for kids and the snooty parents who give them to their kids.  If there is a good reason for the name, I'll go with it.  Let's say, there was a character in a movie in which you loved all your life, and the character name was what you decided you were going to eventually name your child,  long before you can even have babies. That's awesome.  No matter what, that's awesome.  So kiss baby Mulan or baby Jasmine or baby Alex Mack or baby Punky Brewster or Baby Clarissa goodnight and don't worry about what some dumb Nashville resident who feels like telling people what they "did wrong" thinks about it.  

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Liked Him Before He Went Mainstream

You guys wanna talk sports again?  I'll talk sports again, weather you like it or not.

Who the fuck is this guy?
The NFL draft is quickly approaching, according to my trusty news section in my local newspaper.  363 days out of 365, I couldn't give a fuck less about the draft, and as I'm aging, I'm giving a fuck less and less about college football in general.  The less I give a fuck about college football, the less I know about the players who play college football, thus making the NFL draft completely useless to me.  Sure there are some big names in college football that I can't help but know their name, because ESPN and the like just love talking about them.  So yeah, I know who Cam Newton is, but could I tell you if he's really going to be an NFL star?  NO.  In fact, no one can really predict that.  You just have to do your best by analyzing the past history of college players and how they were, and how they did once they got to the NFL, and use that to compare these new kids to that.  Everyone is different, so you cannot compare everyone to everyone else all the time.  And as the fans go, what the fuck should we care for?  We cannot control who our favorite team picks anyway, so we just have to rely on the experts to analyze and the GM's to pick one, and we get to cheer for whoever it is they decide upon.

There's a paralell in music here.  When a band in undergound still, there is a certain crowd out there who are looking for those undergound bands that they want to support and see all the way to the top.  These people look for the new, hip thing and like it before anyone else gets a chance to.  When the band makes it big, they get the pride of saying they have been singing the praises of this band since the beginning, and nothing makes you look cooler than if you knew about a band long before they became famous, right?  Well, these college/NFL scouts are these music fans, just jockier, I supose. Mel Kieper is like the football hipster.  He knows about all the undergound football players and could tell you about all of them, even though you just don't really give a fuck.  As long as they help you're NFL team do well, that's all that matters.

Yet for some reason, when it's actually draft day, I like to watch.  I have no clue who these players are, but it's fun to see them make it to the NFL.  It's not easy to get there, and once you're there, it's even harder to be great at it.  So even though I don't give a flying fuck about the draft right this second, I probably will on draft day.  

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Why I Love Twitter Lately

Internet fads are a lot of fun.  They're not hurting anyone by existing.  It's one of many distractions you can get involved with and have a little fun with.  What makes it exceptional in this day and age is the speed in which the info makes it way to the masses, thanks to Twitter.
I'm a crazy asshole


Take for example three rather large-scale, useless Internet fads of the past month or so.  First, there was Charlie Sheen, and his allegedly spiraling personal life.  The news would touch on it because he is a famous person, and when he would do something new/dumb, we all heard about it weather we liked it or not.  He did some drugs, went a little bit off his rocker in an interview or two, and people were entertained by it, mostly by the shock factor of the whole thing.  Sheen started tweeting, and it was all down hill from there.  Before you know it, he's creating catchphrases like Tigerblood and Adonis DNA and Winning.  All of it is completely irrelevant to you and me.  Really it is.  Charlie Sheen (the MaSHEEN) has zero impact on anyone's daily life if you choose to not have it in your life.  But if you watch it unfold, you can lose yourself in it, and sometimes in this crazy world, you need that escape.  You don't have to pay any attention to him, but you can chose to, if one was so inclined.

That fad lost its luster quickly, and Charlie wore out his welcome a bit.  He's trying to cash in on it now by going on tour, a la Conan O'Brien, but It's not the same.  People don't love Charlie Sheen.  People love personalities spiraling out of control.

fun fun fun fun
Then, out of the blue came Rebecca Black.  Her awful song called Friday was pointed out to me on YouTube by someone I follow on Twitter named Tony Thaxton, who is the drummer of Motion City Soundtrack.  He included a link to the video saying "Have you seen this? Worst song ever?  I hesitate to put the question mark in there."  So, naturally, I had to check it out.  Yup, that was terrible.  How can anyone honestly write that song?  Like, how could they have not changed some of those lyrics to make them at least decent, instead of unbelievably awful.  Half way through the song, I was convinced it was a joke.  How could this be real?  Who would ever write these lyrics?  But it's not fake.  It's a real song that someone wrote and thought might be a hit.  Yet, it's funnier because it's not trying to be.

A poisonous has never been funnier
After that came the Bronx Zoo's Cobra thing.  A cobra went missing from the Bronx zoo, and someone was quick enough to think of starting a twitter account for the astray slithering reptile.  The tweets were spot on, and hilarious.  Suddenly, we're talking about the snake on the Today show, and on the Big Dave and Company Podcast, and shit.  It got like 1000,000 followers in like 48 hours.  Just crazy.

Again, I am all for funny Internet fads because they take you away from what you are currently dealing with, whatever it is.  Weather you're waiting every second for your baby to be born or your job is extremely slow and monotonous or whatever the case may be.  There is usually something out there for you to shift your focus to so that at the end of the day, you don't end up putting a shotgun to the your chin.  You never know where the next thing will come from, and you can't create it.  You can take advantage of a news story (cobra) and make a fun joke about it, but you can't predict that Rebecca Black's Friday will make us all laugh. You can't create that with the purpose, because it loses what makes it funny on a viral level.

The Internet is a funny ass place, my friends.  

Monday, April 11, 2011

Personalized Jerseys

So what's the deal with customized sports jerseys anyway?  How come they have such a bad rap?  Growing up, all I ever wanted was jerseys of teams I loved, to show the world I was a fan.  When I was a little kid, I used to pretend I was a professional athlete myself, because thats awesome and that's what I really wanted to be when I grew up.  I would have absolutely loved a jersey of one of my favorite teams with my own name and my own number on it growing up.  In fact, when the NFL came out with customizable jerseys a few years back, I was thrilled!  I was totally going to order my own 49ers jersey with the number 3 and my name on it, because that's always been my favorite number.  Love the idea.  It was exactly what I had always wanted.

But when I talked about getting one, my then girlfriend now wife said that it would be lame to have a jersey with you're own name on it.  "You don't play for the team, that's lame" was her argument.  No it's not, if I played for them, this is what I'd want my jersey to look like.  I still have that fantasy of being a pro athlete with my own jersey with my name on it.  I still think it's cool.

But aparently, it's not.  Not just in my wife's eyes, but in pretty much everyones eyes.  Really?  It's that lame?  I would have never guessed.  I guess now a days you see personalized jerseys with not a name but perhaps something witty or meaningful.  Like, the dudes at Predators games who have #47 jerseys with TRAITOR on the nameplate.  For a small idea of what this means, read this most recent article I guess.  Basically, he was a Predator and left the team to play in his homeland, Russia, leaving the Preds high and dry.  That's funny to wear a TRAITOR jersey to games, because he was a traitor to the team.

But wearing a #42 Sadenwasser Milwaukee Bucks jersey is viewed as lame-o.  I understand a bit, I suppose, but what's so wrong with it?  You don't play for the Bucks, so why wear one? Supporting yourself?  I guess that's the argument.  When you wear a #11 Legwand jersey to a Preds game, you are supporting David Legwand.  When you wear a #69 York jersey to a Detroit Tigers game, you are supporting yourself.  It just plays to that fantasy a lot of us have of being the star of your favorite sports team.  It's a bit lame, I guess, but I don't know.  I would understand if you did it.  I came from that place, too.  I just had the guidance to not do it myself.  But it's no reason to call anyone any names.

But hey, at least if you get a personalized jersey, it won't ever be out of date because you got traded, right?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Posts About Babies: The Waiting Game

Put baby here
Waiting.  And more waiting.  That's what the wife and I are up to now.  We're just waiting for it to happen.  The due date is now eight days away.  Somehow, the countdown has gotten into the single digits and to be honest, it still doesn't feel like it's an "any minute" situation.  It still feels like it's ages away, although it really, really isn't.  I'm preparing by telling everyone around me that it's any minute now, but I don't even believe that.  But it's true.  My wife could call me at any moment and say "it's happening right now, let's go."

I'm ready.  Everyone is asking us if we're ready, but how can you say if you're really ready for your first child to be born?  We're as ready as we are going to be at this point.  Now, we just wait.  We got all the things an expectant parents can have ready.  We have the crib, swing, bouncer, car seat, stroller, and changing pad all set up in the apartment.  We have all her clothes folded and put away.  We have the hospital bag packed and in the trunk.  We had the car seat inspected by the Metro Nashville Police Department. All we need now is a little one to fill it.  I'm so excited to meet her.  But this wait, it's just killing me. I want to go to the hospital, damn it.  Come on, Evie.  Let's do this thing already.  

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Cursed day 2011

Today is April 5th. Today is my supposed cursed day, and as I pointed out last year, that really hasn't meant a whole lot lately. Basically, it's all made up in my head, and it really just was a bunch of coincidences. Most ofthe things that happened on this day in the past in the grand scheme things were not that big of deal, really. So far today, I have no reason to believe that this year will be different than the recent "cursed days." So really, why bring it up? I mean, it's really all just a made up, mental thing. I bring it up because it still matters. In a way, I want something bad, but not too terrible to happen just to justify myself and my annual bitching. Well, honestly, it's gouge nightly smoothly. In fact, today has kinda ruled so far.

This blog post is being written from my iPhone, so any terrible errors can be attributed to that. I just wanted to check in and let everyone know that April 5th, 2011 is goig great so far. I must have broken the curse at some point. I wonder what I did?