I Had Adventure

Well, I haven't blogged all week, and I'm okay with that. Not much happened, so I had no reason to get all up in arms about things this week.

What I need to do right now, for my sanity, is to write down my chain of events from yesterday, so that I can understand what I did. Come along on my journey. A journey through a random Saturday in my life, that turned into one of the more memorable days I've had in some time.

It all started while I was at work, trying to figure out if I was going to go to an establishment to watch the USA world cup match with a bunch of hooligans. I decided against it, citing the beer in my fridge, the proximity of my dwelling in relation to my work (saving time and not missing much of the game) and the want to not spend any money. I did that, and it was cool except the USA lost. I was very excited throughout the game, but unfortunately, the end result was less than desirable. I talked with my good friend Caleb who was celebrating his golden birthday by going golfing with his mom. I was jealous, but he also reminded me that my beloved Atlanta Braves were playing his (and my) beloved Detroit Tigers. After the world cup match ended horribly, I played a bit of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, but that wasn't doing the trick for me. I realized that I should venture out and procure more beer, perhaps in the form of a growler filled up with Yazoo. So, I put the dog in the bedroom, grabbed the growler, and headed out the door. While driving towards the Yazoo taproom, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that the Braves were playing, and it was in the 6th or 7th inning, and if I went somewhere to catch the end of the game, I would be much happier. So I detoured down Broadway towards the Broadway Bar and Grill, where I knew they had plentiful TVs and an open, breezy bar that you could smoke in.

I got there, ordered a Yazoo Pale Ale and requested the bartender switch the nearest TV to the Braves game. To my delight, as soon as the TV got switched, Chipper Jones hit a 3 run home run, to put the Braves up. I proceeded to text Caleb, the Tiger fan and birthday boy, that my team was ruining his birthday. After chit-chatting with the bar patrons around me, someone mentioned that they were going to go to the Nashville Sounds game tonight. When he mentioned it, it light a lightbulb over my head. The Nashville Sounds, by the way, are the Milwaukee Brewers Triple-A team, and they play right here in town, and I had never gone to a game before. I am a huge baseball fan, but I just never found the time to go, or remembered to go. The game was starting at 6:30, and it was about 6:22ish at the time. The Braves won, even though the 9th inning was painful to watch (THROW A DAMN STRIKE). I paid the man for the pint, and drove out to the ballpark in south Nashville. The timing worked out perfectly. I paid for parking, bought my way into the game, and found a seat and it was only the top of the 2nd inning. I proceeded to buy some nachos and a Miller Lite for basically the same price as my ticket (or what my ticket should have cost if I was savvy). Then the lightning started flashing on the southern horizon, and I figured we'd have a delay soon. Baseball players, fans and umpires don't really like to be struck by lightning.

Then it started to downpour, and everyone took shelter as they rolled out the tarp onto the infield. I ended up on the second deck, basically. There is where I met a nice lady and a nice man whom I've forgotten their names. We talked about Nashville, the east side to be specific, and where the bad parts of town are. The regular small talk you would have during a rain delay with strangers. We ended up next to the place where they serve Yazoo, ironically, and the nice lady bought me one. That's where it starts to get hairy, in my opinion. When the server lady had her back turned, the nice folks were freely refilling their cups with beer, but I did not partake in these activities. I noticed at this point that it was still raining and the fans were exiting the park all together. That's when I realized the game had been called for the night. So me and my new friends were pretty much the last people in the park at this point, and we left once they finnished their beer. As we exited the ballpark, there was a golf cart sitting there, and the guy decided to check if it was drivable. It was, and he started it up, and they hopped in and took off. As they drove off, I was yelling and cheering them on, their brazen, bold move was something I would never attempt. They pulled up next to me and told me to hop in the back on the flatbed, which I proceeded to do, and as soon as they hit the gas, I realized this was a bad idea, and tried to step off. Well, I crash landed in the parking lot, right on my right wrist, and I thought I had broke it at first. Once I realized I could still move it, I realized I was fine. I informed someone that was working the traffic that I was okay and that someone had just stolen one of their golf carts.

I walked to my car in the pouring rain, soaking wet, and I felt alive. It was weird, man. I didn't care that I was soaked. I didn't care that I just busted my ass. When I woke up yesterday morning, I had no idea the day would end with me walking to my car from a rained out minor league baseball game soaked head to toe. It was a mini adventure and I'm glad I did it. I called my friend Dave to tell him about it as I drove home. I tried to call Sean, but he was working.

I went home and ate some veggie corn dogs (4) and did the dishes. I listened to Arctic Monkeys. I went to bed.

And now I'm here. And I don't know what today will throw at me, but I'm ready for anything. I don't really have anything planned, but you saw how that worked out yesterday.

The Kid Don't Stand A Chance

Stephen Strasburg doesn't stand a chance. Let me explain.

For those of you who don't know or don't follow baseball, which will make this a difficult read, Stephen Strasburg is a 21-year-old pitching phenom for the Washington Nationals. There was a whole lotta hype when he made his major league debut June 8th against the Pittsburgh Pirates. He angered the Huffington Post because senators took a break from hammering out the extension of unemployment benefits, because they were to busy being caught up in watching baseball, more specifically, the most exciting major league debut in a long, long time. You see, all the experts told us that when Stephen Strasburg makes his debut, and begins mowing down big leaguers, we would finally understand why everyone was so focused on this kid. ESPN would halt all other programming to cut to a minor league game in some northeastern town somewhere, where the phenom was making a start, and we would witness the kid delivering some sick pitches, shutting peers at an alarming rate. But that was the minor leagues, what can the kid do in the bigs? Try a win, 14 strikeouts and zero walks in his major league debut. All very impressive, indeed. As I documented before, and if you clicked the link above, you would understand why my excitement was muddled a bit. It was the Pirates, which is MLB's minor league team anyway. So then he faced the Indians, and slapped them around as well. Let's not forget that a few weeks prior, young Armando Galarraga basically threw a perfect game against that weak ass line-up. Eight more strikeouts, a couple walks and another win later, we're all creaming our jeans over the kid.

The reason the kid don't stand a chance is not because the teams mentioned above which he played against, but the team mentioned above that he plays for. The first reason is that the Nationals play in the National League east, and I am biased because I am a Braves fan, whom is in that division, but included also in the division is the defending National League Champions in the Philadelphia Phillies, also the off and on powerhouses in the Marlins (two championships in 16 years of play) and the Mets (who I hate, but they're good sometimes.) The Nationals are the team on the outside, the other team in the division. Will the addition of a 21 year old phenom into their rotation fix all the other problems on the team when he only pitches once every five days? No sir, not right now. That isn't to say that the team won't go on to dominate the division in the near future, but if he actually played for Pittsburgh, in the weak Central division, he would stand a better chance, just for the lack of quality opponents.

The Nationals rank 23rd in opening day payroll, which means they don't exactly have the money to get talent to surround the kid. This problem of him being the only star on the team is not likely to change anytime soon, in my opinion. And if they don't win in the next few years, yet he continues to pitch the way he has in his first two starts, there is no chance the team will be able to retain his services. He will demand too much money for them to be able to afford to keep him on the roster. There are only a handful of other teams that will be able to afford the massive amounts of money he will demand.

Stephen Strasburg will look great in Yankee pinstripes. It's a dirty fact of the game. If not pinstripes, he will be playing with a green monster behind him.

So if Strasburg is really as good as they say he is, than the Nationals might be able to make some noise in the division. Maybe all the excitement will awaken the baseball atmosphere in the nation's capitol, and perhaps attendance will go up, then revenues go up, and then ability to land star players goes up, thusly making the team competitive...But it's doubtful. The team has always been bad. They were bad when they were the Expos and played in Stockholm. (just seeing if you were paying attention) And the reality is, Strasburg doesn't stand a chance in Washington. He got a no-decision against the White Sox this past Friday night, and his next start is against the near-town "rivals" the Baltimore Orioles, the worst team in baseball. (OriLOLs). After that he will have his first true test. A Tuesday night game on June 28th, at Turner Field, against the team with the best record in the National League.

The Atlanta Braves.

We're gonna crush the kid. Mark my words.

House of a Thousand Islands

My brain is a rattlin' around with thoughts this morning, none of which would seriously interest most while reading. Most have to do with a music career, playing show on Sunday night, and watching more baseball.

You know what's really good? Thousand Island dressing. It's so tasty. It's also pretty bad for you, thus taking away the idea of eating foliage for lunch. Plants are good for you, but not so much when you add 13 grams of fat to it, thanks to Thousand Island dressing. And that amount is for 2 tablespoons. I assure you, I used more than two tablespoons on my salad today. In fact, there's supposed to be 8 servings in this bottle. Ive used it twice and it's half gone. So I took the health out of my health food, and merely ate food today. It could have been worse. They also put Thousand Island dressing on a Big Mac, and that has 34 grams of fat.

That statistic, 34 grams of fat, has been thrown around a lot, especially by Subway, which touts their food as being healthy, and thusly, the opposite of McDonald's. So they pointed out that a Big Mac has 34 grams of fat, and we all know that's sounds like a lot. It's the percentage they leave out when giving the statistic that startled me when I looked up the Nutrition Facts on the delicious, but forbidden treasure that is the Big Mac.

Fifty-Two Percent. I spelled it out to make it hit home a little harder. That is more than half of you're daily allowance of fat in one little, non-filling sandwich. 11 grams of Saturated Fat! These are all facts that I'm sure we're all aware of when woofing down some grub, often late at night. But its something we don't particularly worry about because when you eat the Big Mac, you don't see immediate and negative results.

There is a wholenother argument as to why you should never ever eat McDonald's food ever, but I'm not getting into that right now. Fuck that place, man. Seriously.

We all know McDonald's is bad for you, health wise, but I felt like a little wouldn't hurt. Not only for you but for me as well. As you may know, I am a Vegetarian, and have been for over two years now. The only thing, and I do mean the ONLY thing I crave way too often is the Big Mac. I love that food so much. It tastes so good. MMMMMMMMMM I'm lovin' it

SHIT, NO!!!

I have been struggling with this problem for two years now. I have been majorly tempted in the past. It's been right in front of me, and I had to resist. I live a fucking block away from a McDonald's, but I have resisted. I want one, but I know there is a greater good, a better reason to avoid the thing. here's what I avoid:

Them - "oh you're a vegetarian?"

Me - "yeah but I ate a Big Mac last week"

Them - "Liar" "Cheater"

Me - "...Yeah"

So I can never do it again. All I can do is try to recreate the magic in my own kitchen with a meatless burger, but it just ain't the same, man. Sometimes, you just gotta separate the good from the good for you, and try as hard as you can to stick to the good for you. I may have put more than 13 grams of fat onto my salad today, but it was probably better than other options available for consumption.

Have Adventure

Firstly, I would like to thank the readers for participating in this latest reader poll. It was a huge success, and I have you to thank. The question asked is, "Who was you're favorite Beatle." The winner of the poll was Sir Paul McCartney, and rightfully so. My personal experiences in listening to the Beatles is that the good songs were written by McCartney. By good, I mean the ones that are the best. Not to say that the other members didn't do amazing things, but I prefer Paul's songs. So yeah, cool. Thanks for that.

What brings me to Blogger today is the Newspaper. I like to regurgitate news stories for you, but I like to put my brain to work here.

There was a story a few days ago...we'll say it was this past Friday or Saturday, where a young 16-year-old girl was attempting to sail around the world solo. She was unsuccessful because her boat got wrecked by a huge wave, and she was stranded in the Indian Ocean for a while there. She came out of it alright, but there were questions leveed against her parents, questioning their decision to let her sail around the world at such a young age. I loved the fathers response to the critics, basically saying that she is as capable of completing this task as any other person. She was trained for most of her life on sailing, and she was well equiped with the knowlage to complete this journey. He went on to say that her sailing around the world was just as dangerous as any 16-year-old behind the wheel of a car on the roads, which is very dangerous indeed. He also said that those that felt she shouldn't be doing this had lost their "zeal for life" and that people that hold that opinion are "living in a cotton-wool tunnel to make everything safe." Let me say that I totally agree. What is this life for anyway? Why not have adventure?

This would have been the end of my thoughts on this, which was this past Saturday morning, but another news story came through yesterday, and continued this morning. It's about that guy from Colorado who had made a journey to Pakistan to find and kill Osama Bin Laden. People said he was a crazy person who was getting in the military's way and had no business going over there and doing something so crazy.

Why would you care? Because we're throwing away so many of our tax dollars on a war in Afganastan that has thus far turned up little results as far as what we originally set out to do, which was capture and/or kill the leader of the group that attacked our country, Osama Bin Laden. Why would you oppose a man from our country from going over there, doing what he can by himself to do what we all feel is the right thing to do. I applaud Gary Brooks Faulkner for trying to take the issue into his own hands.

Though he did say he was told by God in a dream that he had to go do it, so maybe he is bat-shit crazy...

The critics say that no none should do this. Why? Why not live you're life how you want, as long as you're not really breaking any laws or anything like that. Go live life. Don't be afraid to take risks. You don't have to play it safe. The best memories from you're life are not the times you played it safe (unless you decided not to go hiking and everyone else that went without you got eaten by a grizzly bear or something. That could be a good memory.) If you want to self-finance a trip to Pakistan to kill the leader of Al-Qaeda, go for it. I mean, don't live recklessly, as to endanger future adventures by cutting you're life short, but just go have adventure. I promise you're life will be more fulfilling. What are we here for? Why not just go see what you can do, doing whatever you feel like. Sometimes playing it safe is the right thing to do, but not you're entire life. The best stories come from the people that have been places and seen things. The ones with life experiences are the best storytellers, and it's something we should all strive for.

Murder! Money! Headlines! (mostly money)

We've undergone some major face-lifting here at Gotta Keep em' Bloggerated! Isn't it AWESOME! I'M ON FIRE! AND NOW I THINK I'M READY TO BUST A MOVE!

Today, I can't help but be bothered by Joran Van Der Sloot. It seems to me like the whole thing is blown out of proportion, considering how many other people are murdered in the world, daily.

Let us briefly go back in time, shall we? To a time, five years ago, when a slow news day brought us the story of a kidnapping in Aruba which was picked up by the major 24-hour news networks. First of all, if the kidnapping had involved young, 17-year-old Sofia Lopez-Rodriguez of Houston, TX, this news story would have never been brought to our national attention. But no, this was the kidnapping of young, beautiful Natalie Holloway, a white, blonde girl from Mississippi. Sad, but true. So the news networks picked up this story and made into a national sensation, like they have a tendency to do. Because Americans love a good mystery, especially a true story, or at least based on a true story, America fell in love with the story. Joran Van Der Sloot was suspected of the kidnapping and/or murder of the young girl, but charges were never brought upon him because of lack of evidence, if I'm not mistaken. American went on with it's life, moving their attention to another story soon enough.

Flash back to the future, back to the present, and Joran has allegedly struck again! GASP! I wonder how much BP paid Joran to kill someone in Peru?

An estimated 520,000 murders were committed globally in the year 2000 alone, according to Wikipedia. To choose one alleged murder in Aruba in 2005 to slather all over the news networks for weeks, and then do it again in 2010, because of the previous incident, seems a little retarded to me. Americans get caught up in the stupidest shit. Not saying that the murders aren't sad, as someone has lost a life here, but Joran Van Der Sloot is just one of many bad, bad people in the world, and it's crazy that our nation, and a portion of the world now, have been caught up in this whole mess. It's news networks looking for ratings, while the public just needs someone else's life to focus on instead of their own, and the people watching have no idea they're just witnessing a ratings grab. The fact that I know this much about this one murder/disappearance is a testament to how much coverage there has been about these two stories. I have deliberately tried to avoid coverage about the stories, yet I'm well informed about a subject and a killer that I need not be.

It's just a payday for the networks, to gain ratings, to sell advertising. If you don't see that, you are blind.

(and I was really talking to myself yesterday about making this blog more slanted towards comedy, then I drop this depressing bomb on y'all. WHOOPSIES!)

A Guide to Clever Marketing Tools

So the city Nashville has this saying to promote the local hockey team, the Nashville Predators. The saying usually incorporates the clever term "Smashville" somewhere in there. Like, "Welcome to Smashville" Go see a friggin' hockey game. Well, as I walked around work yesterday, bored as usual, the phrases came into my head for some reason, and it got me thinking about other ways you could use our cities name to promote other things that could happen here.

If there was a rash of serial killings around town, we'll call it Slashville.

If there was a convention for beauty contest winners, we'd call it Sashville.

If there was a influx of Hungarian immigrants settling in town, we could call it Goulashville.

If there was a Marijuana convention, we'd call it Hashville.

If there was a photography convention, we'd call it Flashville.

If we attacked Charlotte, N.C., and they retaliated, this would be Backlashville.

If we suddenly had a lot of car accidents, we'd be called Crashville.

If we were flooded (why didn't I think of this before?!?!) we'd be Splashville.

If there was some kind of skin irritant outbreak around town, we'd be Rashville.

If everyone in town got a bit hasty with their temper, we'd be Brashville.

If we had a track meet, we'd be Dashville.

If we were a very redundant city, we'd be Rehashville.

If we had a make-up convention, we'd be Eyelashville.

You get the idea, right? What a versatile name for a city! You don't see Memphis using their name creatively to promote the Grizzlies, do you? What would that do? I guess if it was run by Democrats, it could be called Demphis. But that's dumb. That's really dumb.

So if anyone out there wants to put on a beauty gathering, a drug convention, or show off some new makeups, this is you're town! If anyone wants to start killing everyone or irritating peoples skin, or get angry or repeat yourself or start fights with similar sized southern towns while expecting a retaliation, THIS IS WHERE TO GO! We're here for you.

We're open for business.

The Waiting Game.

So I'm sitting on the couch, waiting for a carpet cleaner guy to come, and I'm not happy about it, folks. Not that I don't want our carpets to be cleaned for free, as part of our re-up on our lease, but I just don't like when someone I don't know comes into my dwelling. I just feel uneasy about having someone come in here. He tried to come last Tuesday, but I was about to go to work, so I told him to come back today. I asked how long it would take, and he told me about a half hour, but that still doesn't make me uneasy about the whole situation. I just don't like it. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to do my best to ignore him and just hang out. I'm not that kind of guy though, so I hope he just comes in, does the damn thing, and gets out.

It's affecting me in other ways as well. I want to start playing video games or whatever but I don't want to get into the middle of things and then have the guy show up, making me have to stop. Then there's that awkward situation where I don't know what to do with myself. Do I continue doing what I was doing? I don't think I do. You don't play Call of Duty while someone is cleaning your carpets. What do I do with myself? Do I hang around him while he works? Do I help him?

No, I'm not helping him. I'm not moving anything else out of the way at this point. I got a lot of stuff off the carpets, but this is all I'm doing. So I don't know, I guess I'll just hang out, and do nothing while he works.

It feels like when Ricky Bobby is being interviewed in Talladega Nights, and he doesn't know what to do with his hands. That's how I will feel.

Another thing driving me crazy about it, as I touched on above is that I don't know exactly when to expect him. It's supposed to be "morning" and it's currently 10:07 a.m. CDT, so that could be anytime in the next hour and a half. So I just wait. I want this to be over.

I hate people, but I love gatherings. This is very, very true.