Man, Jobs Are Hard

So I was making some peanut butter toast this morning, keeping up the #pbtoast2010 trend amongst my friends. As I did so, I pulled out the trusty iPhone to take a pic and boast about eating peanut butter toast for breakfast. I decided to turn on the geotagging feature which shows everyone where you are tweeting from on earth. As I did this, I somehow accidentally clicked on the "see nearby tweets" thinger. What it showed was that there were a shit ton of tweets sent from right where I was standing. This could only mean one thing. Someone was tweeting from here. I often search the "nearby tweets" thing just to see if anyone here has been tweeting form here and no one tweets from here, or if they do, they don't geotag them, so I don't know if they do or not. Anyhow, when I clicked on the user, username Mizz_GA_Peachez, that was tweeting from here, I soon discovered Mizz_GA_Peachez was none other than the officer I had just relieved. I was immediately intrigued as to what Mizz_GA_Peachez tweets, and since her twitter is not set to private, I was able to read away at all her tweets. Well people, she obviously doesn't read this blog or else she would know that if you put something on the internet, someone will read it, and that someone this time was me. Well, it started inocent enough, talking about God and whatnot. I knew she likes to go to church. I get a bit further down and she's talking about "fuq it" and she's gonna work out in the gym here on the clock. Okay, fine, she works the graveyard shift, what else is there to do? There's no one here. I go a bit further back and read about how this "henn is making me warm." A bit further back she says "buildings empty time to finish off this henn from last night." I put quotes, even though I'm not really quoting her word for word, but that's basically it. A quick look at the callender confirms that she was in fact at work that night. And for those of you not on the up and up with the cool kids and their street lingo, "henn" refers to Hennessey, which is Cognac, which is Liquor, which YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK WHILE AT WORK.

Now, I will fully admit that I am the king of slacking off at work, hiding in closets and unused offices and generator rooms and conference rooms, playing with my phone while working, so I have not much room to talk, but there are certain things you just don't do at work. You won't get fired for slacking off, unless you do it ALL THE TIME I guess. It explicitly says in our post orders that leaving the post, I mean physically leaving the premises, like, in your car to go get some food or go back to your apartment, is grounds for immediate termination of employment. Now nice regular coworker lady, who works with this girl on Mondays and me the rest of the week told me that Mizz_GA_Peachez she goes to get food every Monday, but she's not going to say anything because she doesn't want to be a snitch, or whatever. Well, Mizz_GA_Peachez not only leaves the premises on Mondays when theres someone here to cover the post, she leaves just about every day she works, weather she's alone or not. Goes to Arby's or McDonald's or Taco Bell, which are all just around the corner, but still, man. You're not supposed to leave. You will get fired for that. She also mentioned heading back to her apartment to check on her dog once, and I know she doesn't live all that close to work. I mean, she also said she ate someone else's pizza on Friday night and that she ate it because "a nigga got hungray." Worst part of it all, she put it all on the INTERNET. Use common fucking sense, and keep all your irresponsible shit to yourself. Tweeting that you're breaking every rule and fucking DRINKING on the job? That takes a certain kind of special moron to pull that off.

I guess I just worked here long enough to know what you can and can't get away with. One day, she's going to get caught, and I'll laugh so fucking hard. I mean, this job is what it is, but by doing these things she'd done in one short month, you're just an obnoxious human being and you have very low level of responsibility. I didn't go to college and she did, and yet I know how to behave at a job and she has not a clue, apparently.

I understand doing things to help break up the day here because I know this job can get boring, and be boring for hours on end. But I don't tweet the specifics you fucking tard.

...But apparently I blog them...

*Written from the Security desk at work.