Feeding Baby

om nom nom

When it comes to having a baby, as she gets older, I realize that she is a human being.  I mean to say that I always knew she was a person, just the baby version, but I mean certain things change as she gets older.  For instance, she is getting old enough to eat solid foods, instead of just jamming a bottle into her mouth and filling her up.  The thought that when I make food for myself, pretty soon I'm going to have to cook something for her, too.  I've been a bit resistant to giving her solids lately because she means she's getting older.  I'm pretty sure I've written before my fear of her getting older, but all the while knowing that that's how life works.  So many people have told me that they grow up fast and you need to cherish the days of when they're little and sweet.  I know that this won't, no can't, last forever, no matter how little solid food I give her.

When I give her food, it's this strange feeling of providing nourishment.  She needs me to do that for her.  I feel powerful, like I'm important.  When I give her a bottle, It's just, you know, fill 'er up so she stops crying.  No, not that extreme, but there isn't a connection as I get when I'm shoveling rice cereal into her mouth, or when she's munching on a stick of root vegetable.  Basically, it's just different.  As hard as I want her to say as a little baby forever, for a number of reasons, I can't change it.

So the little girl is graduating to solid foods at a rapid pace and it's a little scary.  If I'm scared about her eating food, how am I going to react when she goes to preschool, or kindergarten, or even a daycare sometime.  It's enough to drive a loving dad crazy.  The reality is that if I want to make more money with a better job, she'll probably need to be in daycare.  So, I'm not getting a new job so I can be a daddy more.  I'll eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so she can have the best, and have her daddy holding her.

Alright, so that's it.  She's starting to wake up now, she's happily cooing into the monitor right now, so I gotta go get her.  What a cutie.