Should We Talk About The Weather?

As you could infer from my previous post, I was quickly running out of topics to write about. I'm still in that, and since I don't know what else to say, I'll just do what usually happens in conversations when people don't know what to talk about, but want to talk anyway. Talk about the weather.

It usually happens when I phone home, to check in on the happenings of the good ol' Upper Peninsula. More often than not, it's when I talk to my dad, or when my friendly local wife talks to her dad. Maybe it's a dad thing? I don't know, and I don't think so, because this happens all the time. You call, or maybe not even call, maybe you are just talking to whoever, and the weather comes up. Crazy, eh? This weather is something else, eh? (Note, not all people say "eh" after everything they say, but that's what I typed, so I guess that still comes natural.) A snowstorm, or Lightning storm, or perhaps some thick-ass fog. A flood, perhaps? The weather is just such a nice and easy topic to deal with, because unless you're a hermit, you know what's been up with the weather, generally. Not to say you know we're having such nice, pleasant weather lately because of a huge ridge of high pressure currently sitting comfortably over the middle Tennessee area, which is true, by the way, but you generally know that the heat has eased off and the sun has been shining and the breezes blowing. You know it's been nice lately. Everyone knows it's been nice lately. So you can have the conversation with anyone!

Comparing weather from one region to another is also popular, as I touched on above, because, it's been nice here, but it's been shitty there, or vice versa. It would be odd to call up dad and be like "did you hear what that retard Ron Ramsey said here in Tennessee in the Governor's race?" No, you say "It's been hotter than Hades here." Easy conversation, that is universally recognized and understood. I always take note when conversations turn to the weather. What a useless conversation unless it's with family. You're just killing time, at this point. No, you're wasting my time. I don't care if it's been a cold, shitty summer. I want to know how you are doing personally, not how you're region's weather system has been unfavorably affecting your volleyball league. Not that that happened, but if I ever call a friend, not just an acquaintance but a real friend from back home, and we start talking about the weather, then our friendship has surely fallen apart, or at least we just don't know where to begin, because it's possibly been too long since we last spoke. So if I call you and you start talking about the weather, just stop. I don't want to hear it. In fact, I probably already know how your weather has been, because I pay attention to that shit. Why? Because I care enough to look that shit up, occasionally. As noted by my knowledge of the current high pressure system we're enjoying right now, I clearly missed my calling. I'm a fucking amateur weatherman myself. I know what's up with everybody's weather. I just don't feel the need to have conversations about it with my best friends.

Again, not that this happened, but just giving a heads up.